So I’ve been missing in action on several fronts in the last few days.  Here, on Twitter, and frankly, even in my own house. 

It’s all for a good cause.  Because in case you missed it (though I’ve been talking about it on Twitter and in my newsletter), I’m teaching a class on networking. 

I’ve been reading the very honest things that my class participants have been writing in answer my questions about their feelings about networking.  “Dread” appears rather prominently, along with “awkward” and the practical aspect of “creating business opportunities.”  

And writing the class handout.  As anyone who’s taken a class with me, or seen my work in any form, knows, I tend to be extremely thorough and generous in my presentations and handouts.  So the workbook for this class is totally overkill ridiculously helpful.

What you should understand is that if you’d told me a year or two ago that I’d be sitting here preparing to teach a class on networking – well.  It is to laugh hysterically. 

Because I was profoundly networking-phobic.

Four years ago, driving home in tears from a networking event that I hadn’t been able to find, much less attend, I swore I’d never go to another event ever again. 

Returning home crushed into insignificance from events where I hadn’t even been able to say my name before someone steamrolled over me with who they were and what they did, I shoved handfuls of business cards into the recycling bin – and swore I’d never go to another event ever again. 

Sending follow-up emails that got no response … I swore I’d never go to another event ever again.

Fast forward to last night. 

At a monthly event I seldom attend (twice in the last year), I ran into four or five people I know.  Had some great conversations with new connections, some of whom were very interested in my work.  Was able to introduce people who needed to know each other.  Picked mercilessly on a friend (he deserves it, trust me) that I made through networking, and almost never see except at networking events.

Had fun!  What a concept, hey?  Fun at a networking event?

(And oh, yeah, the food was fabulous.  Oink.  And the panel of speakers was intelligent, interesting, and informative, and I was able to use what I learned in a conversation with a client this afternoon.)

What made the difference?

I stopped trying to follow other people’s rules.

I stopped trying to be someone I’m not.

I showed up willing to be surprised, accepting that I had no idea what would happen or where it would lead.

I accepted and acknowledged my discomfort – not to say fear – about networking, and allowed myself to be curious about what “doing things differently” might look like.

So when I say that my networking class isn’t like anything you’ve ever experienced, I’m not kidding. 

I’m not here to teach you more rules.  I’ll give you LOTS of tips and ideas about things that work for me, sure. 

The important stuff you’ll learn is that it’s okay to hate networking – and you can succeed at it and have fun anyway.  (There are plenty of days when I still loathe the idea of leaving the house!) 

You’ll learn questions you can ask yourself that will reframe and shift how you feel – that will give you space for all the fear, resistance, frustration, whatever you feel, and will open the way for curiosity, “what if,” and a sense of playfulness.

Come join us.  It’s going to be fun, and you’ll learn stuff that will make networking a whole new experience for you.  Guaranteed.

Because no one should hate networking the way I used to!