I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I
have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others.
You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help
me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer,
which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, 
Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great
experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your
success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it —
that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone, 
I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been
increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that
came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have
greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev
Dwane AICI CIP, 
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone
who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D,
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig,
Why don’t you accept help?
How many times have you offered to help someone … and actually had them take you up on it?
A few weeks ago, a friend overheard me offering to help someone with her resume, and commented on how generous I was to do that.
Well, maybe. I mean, even though I barely knew the person I was offering to help, she seems nice, and I knew she was struggling to get job interviews. As an ex-corporate-hiring-manager, I know what makes a resume stand out. So why not help?
At the same time, no matter how many offers I make, I’m pretty sure I won’t get overwhelmed. Because most people – the vast majority of people – never take me up on it.
It’s the same with a small business mastermind group I lead through a local professional organization. It’s open to anyone who’s a member of the organization. Yet of all the people who attend the meetings, only a few are there consistently - even though every one of them, when asked, says the group provides terrific support and help that they need.
Why don’t people accept help?
I’ve tried turning that around, to ask myself why I might not accept help when it’s offered.
I suppose I might question whether they really meant it. But to me, that’s messing in someone else’s business. If they offer, it seems rude to assume they’re lying to me!
Or I suppose I might wonder if the offer came with strings attached. Sometimes gratitude is beautiful and open-hearted, and sometimes it creates feelings of indebtedness and resentment.
But in the end, the only reason I actually remember thinking and feeling when someone offered to help was … holy crap, that scares me to death. I can’t say “yes” to that!
What was being offered touched a lot of vulnerable places – a lot of places I deeply wanted to explore, but was also very afraid to look at.
In the end, I accepted – and it has transformed my life and my business.
Yes, it was a whole lot bigger than reviewing a resume. But on the other hand, you just never know. Something as simple as a resume review can mean the difference between getting a job you really love … and wondering why you never get called for an interview.
(Please note, by the way, that this is an example. I’m not offering to review anyone’s resume. However, a few months ago I did offer, here on the blog, to review your website. Why didn’t you take me up on it?)
So, why don’t you accept help?
What help is being offered to you, right now, that you could accept?
That help I accepted? It came from Jon Hansen, who’s also my business partner on Finding Another Way.
Posted under The internal message.
Tags: Fear & struggle, Productivity
Comments
Comment from
Grace
Time June 23, 2010 at 8:04 am
Jenni – Thank you. And oh yeah I hear you on this one. Been there, done that, um, hmm, probably still doing it. (Probably? Hah!)
Thanks for reminding me!
Comment from Jenni
Time June 22, 2010 at 9:28 am
Hey Grace -
Nice topic. The number one reason why I didn’t accept help in the past is because of my own crazy thinking that I had to be perfectly self-sufficient. Self-sufficiently perfect. It’s been a huge, huge blessing in my life to acknowledge my ‘holes’ and let other people help me with them.
Jenni