I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I
have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others.
You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help
me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer,
which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, 
Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great
experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your
success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it —
that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone, 
I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been
increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that
came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have
greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev
Dwane AICI CIP, 
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone
who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D,
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig,
More about fear
Early this week I received a private email from a reader, asking me to put my money where my mouth is. If, this person said, I’m requesting people to be open and honest and vulnerable in sharing their questions and thoughts about issues they’re facing with their careers and their lives, where are the open, honest, vulnerable posts from me?
Good question.
Like most feelings, vulnerability is relative. As a new blogger, I’m still bumbling around trying to find my “blogging voice,” trying to feel my way into understanding how it’s different from my article-writing voice.
And I’m bumbling around inside myself trying to figure out how to listen to my fear about all of this and still show up the way I want to, as myself, just me, smiles and warts and joy and vulnerability and all. (Uh, just for the record, I actually don’t have warts right now.)
I was reminded of a quote from Dr. Seuss: “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” (With thanks to Adam Kayce of Monk at Work, who Twittered it yesterday.)
My fear, however, isn’t very impressed by motivational quotes.
There’s another quote, an old children’s rhyme: “When in danger or in doubt, Run in circles, scream and shout.” I think my fear likes that one better.
I’ve gotten very friendly with my fear over my years of being self-employed. I’ve learned that trying to ignore it or tell it to go away doesn’t work. As I said in the post “Fear: the other ‘f’ word,” fear ignored just gets louder and louder. In fact, when you ignore it really well (as one of my clients is currently discovering), it goes underground and tunnels around down there where you can’t see it. (That’s when you find yourself doing weird things that undercut all your efforts towards what you really want. )
2009 is apparently the year in which I make a lot of changes a lot more changes in my business. Most of those All those changes involve me showing up in new and bigger and MUCH more vulnerable ways.
So here I am to tell you that I’m both wildly excited, and scared stiff. And “scared stiff” isn’t just a catchy slang phrase, either. Sometimes what I’m planning to do scares me into complete immobility, and then for a while absolutely nothing gets done.
But I’ve learned something about fear over these years of being self-employed. My fear is trying to protect me from what it considers to be unacceptable risks. I know that now. I also know that its definition of “unacceptable risk” isn’t the same as mine, weird as that may sound.
I’m going ahead with the big changes. You’ll see them in upcoming weeks as I roll out a new website design, including all-new descriptions of what it is I really do.
Because after discovering that corporate politics is just as taboo as sex, I also discovered that although I’ve definitely got a talent for figuring out political tangles, it’s also far from the only, or the most important, thing that I help my clients with.
More on that later. In the meantime, here’s me where I am: frightened half silly by what I’m doing, and at the same time completely delighted and humbled by the amazing opportunity for me to show up and really do the work I’m here to do.
Feel free to join in and help keep me honest.
Posted under The internal message.
Tags: Fear & struggle
Comments
Comment from
Grace
Time February 20, 2009 at 9:11 am
Thanks, Mark!
Yes – fear is a good thing, and usually a direct pointer to where I need to be putting my attention. What’s under the fear? If I turn towards instead of away, I learn so much, and open to so many new opportunities!
By the way, I loved the post you put out there. I recommend it to anyone reading this – follow Mark’s link to his website and read his blog!
Comment from
Char
Time February 21, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Grace:
Nice job showing up with your vulnerability in this article. I’m excited to see your new website design and am inspired by your courage to show up with what’s true for you.
Comment from Mark Silver
Time February 19, 2009 at 6:39 pm
Grace- just celebrating with you. I have to say that I continue to have fear come up for me, consistently. I have this post I’m writing now, and I’m nervous about letting it out of the cage. I’m skeered of all kinds of things.
So bravo! Fear is a good thing. It keeps us humble, honest, and present. Thanks for putting it out there- helps me see more clearly my own stuff.