I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I
have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others.
You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help
me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer,
which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, 
Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great
experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your
success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it —
that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone, 
I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been
increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that
came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have
greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev
Dwane AICI CIP, 
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone
who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D,
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig,
Just show up!
It’s summer. That means all the local professional groups and networking organizations are holding their summer social events.
Last night, I attended my fourth networking event in a week. There was a time when that would have been both unthinkable and absolutely exhausting. Now, I have to say, it’s fun. And productive: great connections leading to great opportunities. And it keeps becoming more fun.
I find it hard to believe I’m typing that. It wasn’t that long ago that I counted myself among the “I loathe networking” contingent.
And in fact, last week I was on my way to the third networking event in two days, and I commented to a friend, “Actually, I’d really rather stick sharp objects in my eye than go to this event tonight.” I was feeling tired, cranky, and late, and I hate being late. But I’d paid for the event, and I was determined – even as I sat in Southern California traffic - to get there.
Somewhere on the southbound I5, something shifted. Something in me said, okay. Yes, I’m feeling tired, cranky, and late. So what? Just show up, already. It’s all fine.
And I did. I just showed up. I had absolutely no expectations about who I’d see, what I’d “accomplish.” I had no thoughts about being nervous, no thoughts about wanting to make connections, no worries about standing alone and awkward on the sidelines with no one to talk to.
I had a blast. I ran into a number of people I already knew, reconnected with some people I only knew slightly, and had great conversations with people I’d never met before. I’ve got follow-up coffee dates and a new speaking opportunity.
And you know what? I did it all again last night. Well, not the whole tired/cranky/late thing, but the just show up part. (I’m glad to say that “tired/cranky/late” is optional.) And I made more great connections.
Just show up.
Obviously, those three simple little words can have an impact on more than just having fun at networking events.
Of course, “simple” doesn’t mean “easy.” I found my way to “just show up” through feeling so frustrated and sick of myself that I let go. Let go of how I felt, let go of expectations, let go of anxiety.
Sometimes it has to happen that way. But once you have that reference point, it’s a lot easier to get there without going through the “tired/cranky/late” cycle first.
Just show up…
Interested in learning more about networking and how to make it WORK?
My networking home-study package, How to Kiss Frogs and Find Royalty, is available for just three more days at the new-release price. The price goes up on August 1st. And my students are making a great transition from dread, dread, and dread to – hey, this is kinda fun!
Posted under The internal message.
Tags: Networking
Comments
Comment from
Grace
Time July 29, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Debbie – Yes! The key there is “truly let go.” And of course, that goes way beyond choosing to let go, which often just becomes a sort of mental game where one tries to convince oneself either that “yes, I have let go” (hahaha – not!) or “I must let go!” (not one millisecond before it happens).
No matter how much I try (and I see I mis-phrased it somewhat in what I wrote), letting go isn’t something I can do.
Instead, letting go happens.
Comment from Debbie Rodgers
Time July 29, 2009 at 9:35 am
I agree that “just showing up” is vital. But I’ve found the thing that caused the paradigm shift for networking for me was, as you say, having absolutely no expectations about who I’ll see, or what I’ll accomplish.
When I do that – truly let go of the outcome – then I have fabulous networking sessions, meet great people, and even get business leads.
Thanks for a great article.