At a networking event this evening, I ran into someone I’ve known and been harrassing (in a friendly and helpful sort of way) for several years now. 

He’s a consummate networker, always shows up at all the best events, knows everyone, generous, involved in a ton of high-profile executive and entrepreneurial volunteer activity, stays incredibly busy. 

For as long as I’ve known him, and (based on what he’s told me) for some years before that, he’s been hunting for his next thing.  He’s had some good ideas, gotten started with some interesting partnerships, been interviewed for some great jobs … and somehow, despite his intelligence, experience, talent, and personable style, none of it ever manages to go anywhere.

And for as long as I’ve known him – well, within the first few months of getting to know him, anyway – I’ve been bugging him:  what do you WANT.  No, what do you REALLY want. 

He’s been quick and good at avoiding the question, either by blatantly not answering it (that works especially well in email), or by telling involved, interesting, and only marginally pertinent stories. 

Trying to have a serious conversation with this guy at a networking event is close to impossible.  As I said, he knows everyone, and everyone likes him, has something to say to him, and wants to talk about whatever volunteer program they’re involved in together.  Nonetheless, I managed to pose the question again tonight.

What do you WANT?

And he actually answered me.

Serenity.

He quickly tap-danced off into several distracting stories, but circled back to it again when I pressed him.

Serenity.

He thought I’d be surprised.  I wasn’t.  It’s my experience, both personally and with my clients, that when people are honest, the things they really, really want aren’t as “normal” (whatever that means) as jobs, career advancement, more money, better relationships, and so forth. 

When I kept pushing him about what do you want, I was looking for the true answer, the non-trivial answer, the what’s-calling-you answer. 

Heart’s-desire stuff.

And he agreed that he’s been getting closer and closer, for quite a long time, to recognizing, deeply understanding, that this is what he wants – serenity – and to being ready to find it.

I’m realizing that, just like my clients, and just like my serenity-seeking friend, I too have been getting closer to recognizing, really seeing, what’s calling me.  What work I’m really doing.

This work I do isn’t about how you can get promoted, or how to make office politics work with integrity, or even about what meaningful work is for you.

All that comes along for the ride. 

This work I do is about helping you hear your heart as it speaks the truth of what it wants.  Helping you speak the truth of what you want.  And helping you understand the fears and other blocks in your way, so that you can step into that truth, become that truth, and in so doing, reclaim your own wholeness.

Driving home tonight, I realized that I owe my friend a big debt of gratitude and respect.  In expressing his heart’s desire to me, he brought me face-to-face with how I’ve been avoiding mine.  I’ve been reluctant to make the big statement, to put out there what it is I do.  My voices of doubt and insecurity have spun stories about how no one will take me seriously, how the tools and approaches I use and the spiritual aspect of what I do are too “woo-woo” for the people I most want to work with, and how it’s too risky to be clear and up-front about it all.

You know what?  Those voices are wrong.  And I’m done listening to them.