I’ve fought with time all my life.

I’m ridiculously productive.  My motto for years was, “Do it now!”  I’m fast in almost everything I do, from knitting (I was America’s Fastest Knitter in 2002) to typing, from copywriting to helping my clients realize new perspectives and discover new directions.  I’ve been hosting a very active “ask the coach” thread on a women’s forum (altdotlife), and one person commented, “You’re a machine!”

It’s exhausting.  I constantly wonder if there’s enough time to do everything I need to get done.  Even though I know that there’s always enough time, in an absolute sense – just enough, never too much, never too little - I’ve endlessly continued the battle.

As my business grows, I’ve been presented with opportunity upon opportunity to see how painful this relationship with time really is.  And I see the direct connection between my fight with time and my feelings about enrolling new clients.  My clients’ deadlines and appointments always come first.  So when I’m in constant conflict with time, how can I not feel anxious about adding new work to my schedule?

And of course it’s not just this sense of pressure.  There’s also a big cloud of resentment that hangs around and dumps on me every so often.  Blech.

I’m sick of it.  I’m done with it.  I choose to stop.  I’m ready to heal my relationship with time, to find peace instead of struggle. 

The part of me that’s perpetuated the battle is sure that this means disaster. 

Fortunately, the bigger “I” knows I’m perfectly capable of getting things done, on time and well, without having to fight with time and myself every step of the way.

Actually, that part of me suspects it’s all going to get done even faster.

Because after all, who needs to spend time fighting with time?

(Just for the record, time doesn’t actually exist.  I mean, have you ever experienced any moment other than “now”?  But that’s really a whole nother question…)