I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I
have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others.
You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help
me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer,
which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, 
Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great
experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your
success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it —
that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone, 
I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been
increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that
came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have
greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev
Dwane AICI CIP, 
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone
who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D,
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig,
Down with delayed gratification!
Over the past seven weeks, I’ve come face-to-face – rather painfully – with a tight schedule, deadlines, and responsibility.
If you’ve been reading my posts here, you already know that I’ve been helping friends at their RenFaire booth for the last six weekends; this coming weekend is the last of the season.
Squashing what normally happens over a full week into the four and a half days allowed by this schedule has been interesting, to say the least.
But what’s been most interesting, and what I’ve sort of crashed into (I did say some of this has been painful!) in the last week, is how much of my feelings of overwhelm and frustration have been completely the product of my own mind.
The reality is, everything’s getting done.
It’s just my mind that believes that I have to work harder, that I can’t take time to relax or have fun, that my hopes for a four-day weekend over Memorial Day are pure fantasy and I’ll have to work. (That would, after all, be the responsible thing to do.)
In beginning to see all of this (and it is just a beginning – there’s still a lot of me that believes all the nonsense my mind is jabbering about!), I’m also starting to see some other things.
What is it about delayed gratification? Why do I have this weird conviction that I have to earn every bit of pleasure and fun and self-indulgence?
It’s not just me, of course. I see it in my clients, and I see it in my family and friends. I see it in the people I meet at networking events and on line at the supermarket. I see it in the way we teach kids that they have to earn the good stuff by cleaning their room, eating their vegetables. And I see it in the way most corporations treat their employees.
Do the hard stuff before you do the easy fun stuff, or you’ll never be able to force yourself to do the hard stuff. Postponing the fun stuff means you’ll enjoy it more. You can’t take a break, whether for a half-hour walk or a four-day R&R weekend, if there’s any deadline pending.
I say it’s all a fat, painful lie. I’m not about to say I’ve freed myself from it. I know I haven’t yet. I’m still watching my mind spin the lie over and over again and I’m still watching myself act in accordance with what my mind is saying.
But I’m also really experiencing the discrepancy. I’m experiencing the cost of believing the lie and acting on it.
So I say, down with delayed gratification. And though I may not be ready to toss responsibility to the winds (that seems like it could be a bit of an over-reaction), I will keep observing my experience.
In the end, it’s just that observation of experience, that awareness of how painful it is to believe the lie, that will wear away at it. In the end, it’s the observation, the commitment to truth, that brings freedom.
Posted under The internal message.
Tags: Productivity
Comments
Comment from
Alistair
Time May 14, 2009 at 4:49 pm
As a result of other readings on the net, I decided to try a month of just being ‘present’. Or ‘mindful’. However one wants to put it. The target was to try for 30 days – so, I’m doing it this month (May). And I’ve found it very difficult. My mind seems to fill itself with so much rubbish and ‘noise’ at the drop of a hat. A lot of it ‘should do’ stuff originating from work, family, society, rather than any personal desires.
And in the process of observing myself I’ve seen the same thing: ‘…much of my feelings of overwhelm and frustration have been completely the product of my own mind.’ Not to mention, that despite all that, all the key/’must do’ things needed to be done, got done. And as I cleared my mind of all this ‘noise’, a few other things got done as well, before they turned into disasters that put them on the ‘must do’ list. Including having time to do some nice things for myself as well, and question ‘why I don’t do this more often?’.
So I will be keeping up the ‘mindfulness exercise’, because it keeps me more aware of things. As you say
‘In the end, it’s just that observation of experience, that awareness of how painful it is to believe the lie, that will wear away at it. In the end, it’s the observation, the commitment to truth, that brings freedom.’
This is so true. Its just spooky you put into words so well the lesson I’m just learning, just at the right time.
Comment from
Grace
Time May 14, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Debbie – I know. Believe me, I know! It’s scary stuff in the beginning, and it’s taken me quite a while to get this far.
And it’s also so incredibly liberating! I feel about a thousand tons lighter. 
So I encourage you to try this out, get curious about it. Have fun with it.
Alistair – No mistakes, ever. Not spooky at all!
And it’s not even a question of “why don’t I do this more often” – it’s – this is a way of life. And ultimately, the questioning, the awareness of what’s really real, becomes habit. Second nature.
It’s a pretty amazing thing, huh?
Comment from Debbie Rodgers
Time May 14, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I’m so indoctrinated that I’m not sure I can even say that the whole concept is a lie. What if I find I really CAN’T get the hard stuff done when my back’s against the wall? OOHHHH – that’s REALLY hard to let go of.
Thanks for making me examine myself.