I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I
have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others.
You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help
me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer,
which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, 
Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great
experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your
success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it —
that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone, 
I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been
increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that
came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have
greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev
Dwane AICI CIP, 
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone
who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D,
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig,
Apples and oranges
I was going to write more about fear today, following up on Wednesday’s post.
But when I started writing, I realized that there’s something that wants to come first.
It’s something I learned a long, long time ago – so long ago that I can’t remember who I learned it from, so unfortunately I can’t give him or her credit.
It’s something I talk about with clients, friends, and in workshops all the time.
I’ll start with an example.
Have you ever watched someone – a celebrity of some sort, or perhaps an executive or leader in your company, or maybe even a friend or co-worker – and thought, wow. I could never be as … (fill in the blank)* … as they are.
(*Smart, sexy, courageous, confident, successful, rich, talented, extroverted, articulate … whatever it is you wish you were but don’t think you are.)
In short, you look at them, see an attribute you wish you had but believe you lack, and immediately feel as if they’re better than you are (smarter, sexier, more courageous, more confident, etc.).
You’re comparing your insides to their outsides.
You don’t know how they feel inside, because all you can see is how they are on the outside. You don’t know what fears and insecurities they have (and trust me, they do have fears and insecurities!), because you can’t see their insides.
But nonetheless, you’re busily comparing how you feel on the inside with how they appear on the outside.
Apples and oranges, folks. Apples and oranges.
In comparing your insides to their outsides, you set yourself up to feel crummy and inadequate. And you give yourself all sorts of apparently very good reasons to not do things that deep down, you very much want to do.
How does this show up for you? What limitations has it created for you?
And in thinking about this, please remember that it’s not about finding more ways to feel bad about yourself. It’s about freeing yourself from the traps we all set for ourselves.
Posted under The internal message.
Tags: Credibility, Fear & struggle