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Jon Hansen I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others. You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer, which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, The Remembering Room, Richmond, Illinois
Ariane Goodwin What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D, smARTist® Telesummit, Millers Falls, Massachusetts
Sherry Essig You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig, Priority Ventures Group, Raleigh, North Carolina
You’ve built such integrity of message in your company. I know that’s because it springs forth intrinsically, but you stay so focused at your core! I can’t think of a better way to phrase that laser-beam focus you have. It’s funny, because in someone else, laser-beam focus would be intense, but somehow you manage to make it much more kind and easy. — Jessica Albon, Thrive Your Tribe, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
I’ve never worked with anybody in the way that I’ve worked with you in terms of trusting in your abilities to the level that I have. — Catherine Hajnal PhD, Eight Branches Consulting, Vancouver, Canada ... facilitating and nurturing joyful living
You have an uncanny ability to see through what is being said and surface all the “unsaid” issues. Then you quickly give candid feedback and have a tremendous toolbox to help me move forward through your expert guidance of the right tool.

I have worked with many facilitators/coaches/counselors relating to work and personal situations. Your skills are exemplary and moved me faster than I ever expected. — Jennifer Baker, Fishers, Indiana
You bring both a spiritual perspective and some real-world hard-headedness. — Janet Bailey, Mindful Time Management, San Francisco, California
Brava! I wish I could draw a picture of me — you’d see me in a deep bow to you!

I read your newsletter as soon as it hits my in-box and you’re always right on with your advice. I had to let you know that this issue is particularly brilliant.

I will definitely keep this info — and your contact info — in a secure place.

Thanks so much for sharing your insight and wisdom. — Debbie Rodgers, CGA

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How to DO the second-hardest thing in networking

Last week I wrote about the second-hardest thing in networking: following up.

If you’ll recall, I mentioned how only about 7% of people who say they’re going to follow up actually do follow up. 

I’ve continued testing that statistic.  I’ve talked with people about it (they’re universally surprised – “Only 7%?  really?”), and I’ve then given them a good reason to follow up with me.

Does it surprise you to learn that there’s absolutely no change to the statistic?  It’s still at about 7%.  Or less.   Pretty funny.  I thought I’d get at least 10%.

The good news is, if you DO follow up, you’re immediately at a huge advantage.  Whether you’re looking for a new client, a job, or just making connections, your following up means you’re part of a very select, very special minority. 

So how do you make following up easy?

On my last post, Alistair commented that he thinks one reason people don’t follow up is because they don’t view it as a separate step.  That’s a great observation, and spot on target. 

Schedule time in your calendar for follow-up

It can be as simple as that.  The day after an event, block out an hour for follow-up activities.  If you don’t need an hour (maybe you only met one person you want to connect with), great – it’s a gift of extra time in your day, yippee.

Promise people something

One of the biggest reasons people don’t follow up is because they have no reason to do so.  Without a reason, they waffle on sitting down to write the email or pick up the phone.  It’s hard to do.  In some ways, it’s even worse than making cold calls.  At least with cold calls (or cold emails) the person you’re trying to reach has a good reason for ignoring you – a reason that doesn’t have anything to do with you personally. 

But if you meet someone at an event and then email or call them a day or two later, and they never respond - it feels more like a personal rejection.

By promising to send something – an article they might be interested in, a link to a website or blog they’d find useful, whatever it might be – you now have a reason to be emailing or calling.  Not just any reason, either:  a reason based in your generosity.  You’re giving them something.   That makes it a LOT easier.

Not so incidentally, it also makes it easier for the person you’re following up with to respond back, even if just to say “thanks.” 

Make a concrete suggestion

The whole point of following up is to nurture the connection you began forming when you met. 

If the follow-up just says, “Hey, nice meeting you,” there’s not much nurturing going on, and not much point in bothering.

If this is someone you want to know better – and if it’s not, then why are you bothering? – it’s up to you to suggest a next step.  Usually, that’s to meet for coffee or lunch.  But don’t just say, “I’d like to get together for coffee sometime.”    That’s wishy-washy, and invites an equally wishy-washy answer.

Instead, try, “I’d like to continue our conversation over coffee.  How does next Tuesday at 3:00 sound?  Do you know any good places to meet?”

When you make a specific suggestion, the other person is far more likely to respond.  Even if she says “no,” she might offer an alternative time, date, or place. 

Other ideas?

What do you do as part of your follow-up process?

What stops you from following up?

If these ideas were useful, there are a lot more in my networking workbook-and-audio package. In fact, it’s full of practical material – exercises and information – about all aspects of networking, from why it feels so hard (and how to make it easier), to how to get very, very strategic about picking events to attend. Take a look!

Comments

Comment from Flowersbyfarha
Time November 9, 2009 at 2:23 pm

What great advice!

The section about “make a concrete suggestion” also sounds like great dating advice (as in how to get one)!

Makes me realize I need to look at sales/marketing as an extension of good social skills with a focused agenda rather than as a completely foreign set of behaviours. I hate it when a salesman or marketer tries to “work me” so consequently I hate to use those behaviours on my potential clients.

This gives me some ideas about new approaches with what I do.

Thanks!

Far’ha

Comment from Grace
Time November 9, 2009 at 2:30 pm

Far’ha – You know, I never thought about applying the networking skills I teach to dating. How funny – and what a great idea. After all, it IS all about creating and nurturing connections between people, right? :)

I also appreciate your point about marketing – when done effectively, as opposed to your example about “being worked” – as simply an extension of good social skills. That’s a key point.

My approach to marketing has always been that it’s a way for me to offer help to people, whether or not they ever buy anything from me. It’s a way for me to say, Yes, I hear your problem, I hear your pain. Yes, there really ARE solutions to it. My solution may – or may not – be the right one. What’s important is that someone walks away knowing that there’s help available.

So yeah, it is about social skills: being helpful, making connections, following through on commitments.

Thanks, Far’ha!

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