I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I
have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others.
You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help
me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer,
which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, 
Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great
experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your
success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it —
that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone, 
I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been
increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that
came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have
greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev
Dwane AICI CIP, 
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone
who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D,
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig,
The joys of an alternate reality
The Southern California Renaissance Faire started its seven-weekend season on Saturday. Yes!
Even though I cringe every year at the thought of those seven precious weekends all in a row, the absolute alternate-reality fun of Faire draws me in with no regrets. Whether the booth where I work is mobbed with customers or eerily quiet, from the early-morning set-up to late-evening putting everything away, it’s a step into another world.
And it’s a community. We know each other. Visitors either become known to us and return each year, or pass on through and disappear.
Faire is always surprising, always fun, and sometimes sad, difficult, and poignant also. Old friends stop attending. Talented artists close their booths to focus on other aspects of their business. Favourite actors move on to other venues and are replaced. And they’re all sorely missed.
But like any community, Faire goes on. New artisans appear, new friends are made, and the underlying richness of Faire life continues undimmed. The little fights, the disagreements, the silliness and laughter, the annoyance of noisy neighbors, the cheerful willingness of people to help - it truly is a community, strange as that might sound.
Faire is a gift to me.
When I step into that alternate reality, the so-called real-world concerns of business and day-to-day life simply vanish. In that way, it was my earliest experience of truly living in the moment, with no regrets, no worries, no anxiety about the future.
It’s a community I visit for the weekends of just two months each year, with all the time in between of what we Rennies call “mundane life.” Because of that, it’s an astonishing barometer of where I am within myself.
I’ve attended various Renaissance Faires for a dozen years now, initially as a patron, and for the last nine seasons or so as a participant, working at a booth.
Attending Opening Weekend this year, I was stopped in my tracks by how much I’ve changed over those years. There’s simply no self-consciousness any more, no angst about my costume, no internal debate about whether someone will agree with what I say, or if I can say the right thing to help someone come to a decision about a purchase.
Whether I’m demonstrating the use of a magic wand to a skeptical child, helping our teenage assistant feel less awkward as she learns the ways of the booth, or exchanging creative insults with the village peddler, there’s simply no little-me there to get in the way.
And in seeing this so clearly at Faire, I see also how this way of simply being, with no story about what that means, has been informing my business as well.
My networking class: my students learned to find their own paths to unselfconsciousness in interacting with others, delighting me with their unsolicited testimonials reporting their newfound confidence and success. My newsletters: readers describe how they try my suggestions and surprise themselves with their results. And my clients: they find their own abilities, depths, and joy, and then express their appreciation to me publicly (in testimonials) as well as privately.
My gratitude for all of this, for the ways in which what I do moves through me and the ways in which the people I work with respond to that movement, is humbling and huge – and delightfully joyful.
I realized recently that when I’m anxious about being good enough, everything I do is for me – to prove myself.
As soon as I stop worrying about saying or doing the right thing for my clients, I’m free to simply be there with them, meeting them where they are and responding to them in ways that they can hear, feel, and act upon.
And little-me simply disappears.
Which is a very good thing.
Posted under Living in San Diego.
Tags: Creativity
Comments
Comment from
Grace
Time April 8, 2009 at 8:13 am
Louise – Thanks for your comment! And “little-me” seems to have gone on an extended vacation. 
She’s certainly earned it; she ran my life for way too long!
Comment from
Jenni
Time April 14, 2009 at 1:54 pm
I got to this post from your newsletter article for today, which I really liked. What a great question! What do I really want? Not sure about all the dimensions yet, but there’s a whole lot of taking my foot off the brakes involved.
Comment from
Grace
Time April 15, 2009 at 8:00 am
Jenni – The newsletter is now up in the Newsletter section here! Thanks for your comments, and I’m glad you like it.
So true about taking the foot off the brakes. I can certainly relate to that one (sigh). Hm. Sounds like another blog post or newsletter article there…
Comment from
Alistair
Time April 16, 2009 at 1:32 am
Your Renaissance Faire looks fantastic. Something to consider when timing any visit to that part of the world. We’ve just had a folk festival here in Canberra, Australia over Easter. From the Thursday evening welcome concert, to the finale on Monday night, it also provides ‘another world’ to get lost in, and just relax. I’ve been escaping there at Easter for more than 12 years now, and it really is like a holiday away from everything. So many different types of music, lots of different foods, dances, workshops on singing, playing, dancing. And the break promotes taking a fresh look at things, so your post on ‘what do you want’ is quite fortuitously timed.
Comment from
Grace
Time April 16, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Alistair – Thanks – it IS fantastic!
When I lived on the east coast, I used to go to the Philadelphia Folk Festival – sounds a lot like your Canberra festival. Lots of music of all types, from Celtic rock to serious fiddle to klezmer to folk-rock to American Indian-inspired and on and on. Some of my favourite CDs are from those years at the folk festival!
Thanks for commenting!
Comment from
Lauren
Time April 28, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Grace,
As one of your clients (aka adoring fan), I do acknowledge your skill and talent for helping me find my skill and talents.
In reading about your getaway to the Faire, it makes me want to go a Faire nearby soon, it makes me want to come visit you at your Faire so that you can sell me your wares, and it makes me realize that all of us need that place/community where we are welcomed with open arms.
As always, thanks for your clear writing style to express your innermost thoughts. You are my hero… and so right on with your comments.
Comment from
Grace
Time April 28, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Lauren – Hi there, my friend! so nice to see you here on my blog, and thank you for your comments.
Faire is an amazing place, no matter which one you attend. I’ve been to at least a half-dozen now, and they all have their own character and they all have an underlying shared commonality.
By all means, come visit. We’ve got three weekends to go, and I think you need a magic wand!
Comment from
lauren
Time April 30, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Hi Grace
No, I “want” a magic wand!! LOL
Lauren
Comment from Louise
Time April 6, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Thanks for a little peek into your world. I agree that any experience that takes “little me” out of the picture, at least for awhile, is probably worth it.
-Louise, aka @ThoughtsHappen