I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I
have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others.
You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help
me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer,
which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, 
Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great
experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your
success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it —
that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone, 
I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been
increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that
came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have
greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev
Dwane AICI CIP, 
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone
who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D,
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig,
Is face-to-face the new social networking fad?
Social networking sites have gone mainstream. Baby boomers are hanging out on Facebook. Grandparents are Twittering with their grandkids.
And everyone I meet, including the supposedly tech-preferring Generation Y, is talking about face-to-face meetings and claiming that “face-to-face is the new online.”
Now, I love the ability to connect easily and, yes, to develop very high-quality relationships through social networking sites, email, and the telephone. I love being able to hide behind my computer screen, and I love the fact that I’ve never met some of the most important people in my life in person. (Well, conceptually I love it. In actuality, I’m very eager to meet them … face-to-face.)
But I don’t think face-to-face ever went out of style.
Everyone I talk with ultimately craves that face-to-face meeting. Including me.
And yet everyone I talk with struggles with – or even actively dreads – in-person networking.
Online networking feels so much easier than in-person networking. It’s safer. You don’t have to worry about what you’re wearing, or whether part of lunch is still stuck between your teeth.
Online, you’re usually interacting with multiple people all at once. Someone out of all that mass of online presence will notice you and say something, and if by chance they don’t, it’s still not that awful high-school feeling of standing unnoticed in a crowded room.
Online networking isn’t an event like a chapter meeting, a social mixer, or a presentation. There’s a whole lot less riding on each interaction. No response to your Tweet? The people you normally interact with must not be logged in. On the other hand, no response to your in-person eye contact and smile? Whoa – something must be terribly wrong with you!
Yet as I said, ultimately everyone craves that face-to-face meeting. In the long run, it’s the person you talk with, have coffee with, shake hands with, that you’re more likely to stay connected to and do business with.
Whether you’re looking for a referral to a plumber, to hire a coach, or to refer someone to the perfect job opportunity, you’ll almost always think first of the person whose eye color you know from personal experience, whose crooked teeth you’ve smiled at, whom you’ve sat next to at a networking event or across from over a coffee-shop table.
I’m not denigrating the online connection at all. This is me, remember, who loves hiding behind my computer screen. And I have a business partner who’s also my brother-in-spirit, though we’ve never met in person.
But we will meet someday – it’s a matter of “when” not “if.” And the friendship and business partnership we’ve formed is, in my mind, the exception that proves the rule.
So no – face-to-face isn’t the “new online.” It’s the same old thing: how human beings connect.
And somehow, we know that the face-to-face connection is more meaningful, more lasting, more important. So it’s no surprise that it’s a lot scarier to connect face-to-face.
How do you feel about in-person networking?
“Dread” is THE most common answer I heard when I asked the participants signing up for my upcoming networking class. “Fear” and “embarrassment” are also common responses. “Networking sucks!” was one woman’s heartfelt cry of pain.
Been there, done that. I’ve left networking events in tears and filled with profound self-disgust. I’ve sworn that I’d never go to another networking event.
And now I’m teaching a class on it, and looking forward to the class, and enjoying the fact that I’m writing the draft of this blog post in between two networking events in one day. (Final tally: two events, three potential clients, six new or strengthened contacts. Not so shabby, for someone who swore she’d never go to another event again!)
The thing is, the rules you’ve been taught about networking don’t work. (Have you noticed?)
Yet up till now they’ve been the only thing you had to try to keep from feeling like a high-school wallflower all over again.
Join your networking-dreading fellows in my class. And let’s talk about ways to make networking fun and effective for you.
Posted under Communicating your message.
Tags: Networking
Comments
Comment from
Grace
Time March 21, 2009 at 7:12 pm
Jen – Thank you. And actually, I should’ve credited you, because it was a conversation with you that got me thinking about all this!
So I’m specially glad that you commented, and DELIGHTED that you’re joining the class!
Interesting point on the traditional networking groups. You’ve hit on something here – I think that the traditional groups could really stand to find ways to generate more of that fizz. But … hm! how? Thoughts, anyone?
Comment from Jennifer Hofmann
Time March 21, 2009 at 9:40 am
This is exactly what I’ve been thinking for months now. That’s why sites like Biznik.com and Twitter “Twee-Ups” are gaining so much popularity – people actually get to *meet*.
It makes me think, however, that traditional networking groups need to get clued in on this. They lack the fizz and excitement that web-initiated-connections-who-then-meet-in-person do. I’m not desperate for leads. I just want to connect – and see what it leads to.
Nicely done, Grace. I plan to tweet it up!