What is it about bright shiny things?

Whether it’s something literally bright and shiny that attracts our attention, or whether it’s the lure of a new idea that’s apparently better than what we’re currently working on … there seems to be an impulse to move away from what we have in front of us, towards something new and different.

I’ve seen it in myself, and I see it in clients and friends.  And I know people who have this syndrome so badly that it’s had a serious negative impact on their businesses.

The bright shiny things syndrome is easy to slip into when you feel like you really need results.  If what you’re working on doesn’t appear to be accomplishing what you want or need – or if you’ve been working on it long enough that it’s no longer interesting (i.e., it’s no longer bright and shiny for you) – then something else that seems to have more promise can easily lure you away.

Bright shiny marketing things have an urgency to them that makes them all the more alluring, especially if you’re already feeling a sense of urgency about your marketing results.

Unfortunately, changing direction is confusing and exhausting.  It confuses you, muddies your efforts, and makes everything take longer.  Even more importantly, it confuses your customers and potential customers,  because your sense of clarity and focus (or lack thereof) is revealed in everything you do and say about your work. 

And if you’ve spent time and money on something (and time is money, even – perhaps especially – if you’re the one doing all the work), changing direction is a choice to consider carefully.  It may be the correct choice, but it’s never a choice to make suddenly, without stopping to see what’s really happening and what’s really true for you.

Are you turning towards the bright shiny idea because it seems more likely to get results than what you’ve been working on?  How real is that?

What are the long-term implications of changing direction?  How much money and time have you spent – and if you return to the project later on, how much more money and time will you spend re-engaging with the project and getting it under way again?

Just how important is the short-term need – and is your sense of urgency really justified? 

I can’t count the number of times I’ve jumped into something that sounded great (bright! shiny!), only to realize after hours and days of work that it wasn’t going to fly. 

Sometimes it was a great idea that wasn’t right for my audience at that time.  Sometimes it just wasn’t such a great idea after all.  And sometimes it was a great idea that needed time to mature and come into its proper place.

I’ve learned – the hard way – to stop.  To keep working on what’s already underway.  To pause, to wait, to ask what this idea really is and what it wants to be.  To allow the idea to develop at its own speed, showing me how it aligns with the bigger picture of what I offer and what my customers want.

Sometimes that waiting goes on for a while. 

I’m preparing to launch a new giveaway on my website (for newsletter subscribers current and future).  It’s something I outlined in a burst of inspiration over the New Year’s Day holiday.  So this idea is almost six months old! 

As bright shiny things go, that’s downright tarnished.

In terms of how it fits into the ways my business is evolving, it’s absurdly, beautifully perfect.  But I didn’t know that six months ago.   I didn’t even know it a week ago!

And because of how it fits into the ways my business is evolving, it will have a far greater reach and a far better impact for both my business and my customers than it would have if I’d finished it back in January and released it then.

How about you?  What bright shiny things are you considering?

There seems to be some circular affiliate marketing going on out there.

In the last few weeks, I’ve been bombarded by offers for the same programs from three or four different people.

Mind you, it’s fascinating to see the different spin each one has. 

Um, up to a point.

But let’s face it, there are only so many ways to say, “Hey, looky here, I want to sell you this **insert various superlatives** program that will make you **insert ridiculously large sum of money** in **insert stupidly short period of time**.”

Marketing is necessary.   Those of us who have things to offer to our customers have to be able to talk about them in ways that our customers can hear, notice, take advantage of.

Affiliates are a good thing.  I love being able to promote the work of people I appreciate, respect, and honour.   One of my clients said to me recently, “I love hearing how enthusiastic you are about other people’s work!”  That felt really good to hear.  And it’s true!  When I like what someone’s doing, I’ll trumpet it from the rooftops.  If they happen to have an affiliate program I can sign on for, that’s a sweet added benefit – but I’d promote their work without it. 

I also love being able to promote my own work.  I know what I offer is what my clients need.  And I love the ways that I keep going deeper into that, finding more and more ways to respond more and more sincerely and productively to their needs.

At the same time, I’ve been feeling more and more overwhelmed by the bombardings of superlative-laden, Must Do This Now Must See This Now Must Learn From This Now Must Watch This Video Now emails I’ve been getting.  It’s put a nastily bad taste in my mouth about the whole Marketing Thing.

For about two weeks, I’ve been hanging out with a weird reluctance to let people know what I’m up to.  I have an honest, uncomplicated offer I want to make to my newsletter readers, and I just haven’t been able to write the emails and update the sales page.  And I so haven’t understood why.

After a brief Twitter exchange with the lovely and gracious Jen Louden, it became clear to me that this apparent resistance has actually been a reluctance to jump onto the superlative bandwagon.

What a relief! 

I knew this wasn’t like me, to not move forward with something I’d planned, something that felt good, something that seemed reasonable.  So in sitting with my reluctance and resistance, I was mostly curious, and only a little bit what in the world is WRONG with me?!

I guess if this post has a point – well, there are two or three points, now that I think of it.

First, thanks to the lovely and gracious Jen Louden for being lovely and gracious and responding to my nosy questions about her feelings on this subject.

Second, good grief, people, would you (a) notice that many of the same people are on your various mailing lists, and (b) tone it down a little, and (c) when you say you’ve got an informative video actually make it informative, and not just a sales pitch!?! 

Third, to my wonderful readers – here and on my newsletter – thank you.  If you’re not on my newsletter, please sign up, because I am going to make that offer to you in the next week.   Gently, with respect, without hype and fanfare, and with a really great deal.

How about you?  What marketing hype has made you feel uncomfortable recently, and how are you responding?

By customers, I mean anyone who’s reading any of your material (website, blog, Tweets, whatever).  I could say “audience,” but I’m using customers quite deliberately.  If you’re producing material that they’re reading, then they’re customers.  Whether or not they’ve paid you a single penny.

So, yes, it’s remarkably easy to piss them off, even with the best of intentions.  Someone can go from raving fan to active detractor in a split second.  All it takes is a single misunderstanding or out-of-alignment action, and whoosh.  They’re gone. 

Part of my job is staying on top of what other people are doing to market themselves.  So it could be that I’m a little more sensitive to mis-steps than someone else might be.  Whatever the reason, I’ve recently found myself getting more than a bit turned off (not to say pissed off!) by some people’s actions.  I’ve also noticed that my level of pissed-offness is directly proportional to the amount I liked them before.  The more I liked and respected their work, the more annoyed I become when they do something I feel is out of alignment with who I want them to be.

Notice that I said, “Who I want them to be.”  In doing whatever it was they did (or didn’t do), they’re being who they are.  My reaction is all about me wanting them to be something else.   Nonetheless, I am reacting – just as someone may react to me in a similar situation.

I’m clear that I can’t possibly please all the people all the time, and I don’t have any interest in trying.  I’m also clear about who I enjoy working with – which just happens to also be the people I do the best work for.  I’m happy to keep my focus right there where it belongs. 

And those are the wonderful people whom I don’t want to annoy, frustrate, or otherwise piss off.

I recognize that how I might react in a particular situation may not be how anyone else does.  The amount of importance I place (or don’t place) on something may not be what anyone else feels. 

So … I pay attention to the details that matter to me and to the details that might matter to my customers. 

With special attention to the latter, since that’s what I’m most likely to overlook.

And not just the successful ones.  You can learn a lot by seeing who isn’t succeeding as well as those who are.  (Or at least appear to be.  Just because someone says they’ve made $X bazillion doesn’t mean they have, after all.)

What’s particularly fascinating is to compare two people who are offering essentially the same product or service. 

The Southern California Renaissance Faire opened last week.  If you’ve known me for a while, you know that every season I help friends of mine at their booth there (seven weekends in a row!).

They make beautiful stained glass windows and ornaments.  Some seasons are better than others, but in general, they’re successful in selling their wares and meeting their financial targets.

A friend of theirs also makes beautiful stained glass windows and ornaments.  Different style, but no less gorgeous and no less well made.  Priced in pretty much the same general range.  And he’s just as nice and friendly as they are.

On a good day his sales are about a quarter of my friends’.

A client runs a successful event planning business.  Sure, she wants to deepen her connection with her market and take the next step up – that’s why we’re working together.  But even with that, why is she more successful than another equally nice, equally talented and skillful event planner I know?

Attitude

I see it over and over again, in my own business, in my business partner’s work, in my clients’ and friends’ businesses.  (And careers, too, for that matter.)

It’s all about attitude.

A coach I worked with years ago used to say, “Certainty sells.”  He meant your certainty about the value of what you do.  And that’s part of what makes up attitude – but only a part.

Going in through the front door

That’s what my business partner calls it.  It’s a powerful image.

When I go in through the front door – when I show up as who and what I truly am – when I take the risk to put all of me out there, nothing held back, nothing hidden - there’s a huge difference.

A huge difference in how I feel.

And a huge difference in how people respond.

Looking at the people I’ve described here, and at others I can think of, I see the same pattern.

When you believe you’re going to struggle, it’s inevitable:  you’re going to struggle. 

When you hold back, even a little bit, for whatever reason – you’re going in through the side door.  Or maybe even through the cellar door.

What if you were to go in through the front door?

What would it take for you to go in through the front door? 

What help do you need to make that attitude your reality?

Yes, it can feel scary on this side of the door.  But fear is just fear.  It isn’t the end of the world.  And the experience of stepping through the front door is worth every second of fear you might feel.

As my business partner said to me the other day, the doorway’s wide enough. 

We can all walk side by side.

With thanks to my business partner, Jon Hansen, for his help in finding my own way through the front door.

Visiting the Southern Cailfornia Renaissance Faire? Stop by Crystal Magic and say Hi!

Need help going through the front door? Hop over to my contact page – and let’s set a time to talk.

Some of them belong to people and businesses I know.  People and businesses I respect, like, and patronize.  People and businesses I recommend to others.

Others belong to people and businesses who somehow caught my interest.  Whether it was an intriguing tweet on Twitter, a blog post I stumbled across, or a chance meeting at a networking event, something about them was interesting enough that I wanted to learn more.

But their websites?  Oof.  And ouch.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this makes me very sad.  When someone’s work is really good – and their website is really bad, or even just mediocre – it breaks my heart.

Because a GOOD website is easy to have.

Let me repeat that:

A good website is EASY to have

It doesn’t take a lot of money.  It doesn’t take fancy technology skills. 

It does take time and vulnerability.

Vulnerability …

… because you need to dig deep and be yourself, honestly and openly.  You need to let people know who you are, and why you do what you do. 

You need to be clear about exactly what it is that you do, and for whom.

And you need to be honest and admit that this might be something you can’t do on your own.

Time …

… because digging deep and finding that clarity isn’t something that happens overnight. 

As I wrote in a recent newsletter article, “Don’t Peel the Rosebud,” it takes nurturing and time to discover how your business truly wants to bloom.

And it takes commitment 

Being vulnerable and putting in the time to do the digging can be scary and even painful. 

And doing the digging is hard to do for your own work.  (Trust me on that one.  I’m intuitive, fast, and damn good at doing this for my clients.  Doing it for myself…geesh.)

What’s your opportunity cost?

Many of the sad, bad websites I’m seeing are almost certainly sad and bad because their owners wanted to save money.

But if your website isn’t getting the results you want – or if you’re not even sure what results you could be getting – then you might want to think about opportunity cost.

That’s the lost income that you could be getting from your website. 

Because if your business’s website isn’t making you money, then it’s more than just a waste of money.  It’s actually costing you money every time someone like me comes to your site … and wanders away again without interacting with you.

Your website is one of the places in your business where it literally doesn’t pay to be frugal.

AND you don’t have to break the bank

The good news is, it doesn’t have to cost a lot.  There are great designers out there who can do wonderful things on a reasonable budget.  (I do my own, but if I needed a designer, AllieCreative is the one I’d call.)

And as I said, you’re the one who has to put in most of the time and effort to get your website to say what it needs to say.

Any website copywriter who says they can create your site from an overview of what you do … isn’t going to give you the kind of site your business needs and deserves. 

Any website copywriter who doesn’t come back to you over and over again with questions, asking you to go further and dig deeper … isn’t going to give you the kind of site your business needs and deserves.

That’s a good thing.  You’ll save money (because you’re not paying your copywriter to do what s/he can’t do), and you’ll have a website that engages and informs your visitors and encourages them to sign up for what you’re offering.

And just incidentally – your site won’t break my heart when I see it.

I’m relentlessly persistent in helping my clients create websites that are a real, resonant expression of the truth of their work.

If you’d like a review of your website, including concrete suggestions for improving it, just leave a comment with a link to your site.  Be sure to check the box to be notified of comments so you get my response delivered to you.

Caveat: I reserve the right to stop doing reviews at any point! This is subject to my availability and there’s no implied guarantee that your site will be reviewed, or that it will be reviewed according to any particular schedule.

Update as of May 27 2010: I’ve closed this post to comments because I’m no longer taking requests for free website reviews.

Instead, If you’d like a review (and if you have a website, getting it reviewed by an impartial third party is a Very Good Idea), I’m now offering Website Reviews at a very reasonable price.

Especially if you’re a reader of my newsletter, and have downloaded “Your Website and You” – the free report on the website questions, assumptions, and mistakes I hear and see most often. It comes with your newsletter signup, and includes a link to get the Website Review at a 30% discount.

But what happens when there’s failure to focus?

When you’re not focused, your audience is confused. 

It’s as simple as that.  Your lack of clarity and focus immediately causes your audience to be confused. 

And we all know what confused means. 

It means they’re not signing up as clients.  In fact, they’re probably not even signing up for your give-aways.  Why should they?  They’re confused about who you are and whether you’re really talking to them!

Lack of focus appears to come in different flavours. 

Sometimes it looks like a desire for certainty.  You think, what if I’m wrong?  What if this isn’t the right direction?  How can I be sure I’ll get clients?  If I just wait a little longer, I’ll have a better idea of what I’m really doing.

Other times it looks like a desire to help more people.  You think, if I narrow my focus too far, I’ll limit the people who know about what I do.  And I can help lots of people – I don’t want to make myself seem unavailable.

It can even look like being busy.  You think, I don’t have the time to get focused.  It needs space and effort that I just can’t afford to give right now.

It’s really all the same thing

When you’re dealing with a lack of focus, it all starts in the same place:  you don’t know.  And that can be very hard to admit.

You may think you’ve admitted it.  You might point to times you’ve made a joke out of it, times you’ve thrown your hands in the air and said, “I don’t know who my market is!” or perhaps “I don’t know where to find my clients!”

But until you really stop, stop and allow yourself to be not knowing, you can’t start to gain clarity.

It’s not an easy step to take.  Really deeply acknowledging not knowing equates to failure in our society.  Willingly stepping into that place feels a lot like stepping off a cliff without a parachute or even a bungee cord to stop your fall.

But if you really want to gain the clarity you need in order to focus – and experience inspired action – you’ve got to start where you are.

There’s great freedom to be found in not knowing.

However, I’ve received some comments on my last newsletter that led me to think it would be fun to initiate some discussion here about, well, about what marketing really is.

Here’s the link to read the article:  What’s marketing – really?

And then join the discussion.  What do you think – or more realistically, what do you feel – about marketing?  And how do those feelings either support what you’re doing, or make it difficult?

It seems to be human nature – some things we have to learn by experience. 

Marketing coaches, books, blogs, teachers, gurus – they all tell you to get focused, get clear, narrow your focus, be specific. 

And just about every small business owner or independent professional fights it.   We’re sure that being focused means excluding potential clients and limiting our opportunities.  No matter how many times we hear about the real results people experience from being clear, specific, and focused, we’re still convinced that they’re the exception.

A toddler has to experience the burn of the hot stove before he really gets his father’s “Don’t touch!” 

The toddler has it easy.  The pain of burning your fingers on the stove is direct, immediate, and memorable.

But the pain of not having a clear understanding of your client focus is a dull ache.  It’s the ache of frustration and self-doubt that arises when your business struggles and you’re not reaching the people you know you can help.

And you’re in constant contact with that hot stove – with the frustration and struggle - instead of just touching it and letting go.  So you don’t have an unpainful experience as an alternative reference point.

The resistance to getting clear goes beyond anxiety about limiting your scope and excluding potential customers.  That’s very real and very present for many people.  It’s the objection most often voiced when they’re asked why they haven’t narrowed their focus.  And it’s where many people focus their effort to convince themselves that they really do need to be more clear.

But often, a lot of insecurity and doubt lurks underneath.  It’s just not safe to be that certain and specific!  Who is it that you’re really here to help?  And who are you to think you can actually help them?  What about your best friend, who says you should be doing this, even though deep down something is calling you to do that? 

I know this path well.  For years, I was convinced beyond any doubt that my 25-year corporate background meant I should be working with executives. 

It wasn’t until I recognized how glad I am to be out of that world that I realized it’s not where my heart lies.

And the more I step up to and see the real value of what I’m good at – instead of giving it away because it’s easy for me – the more clients I have, the more people I help and inspire, and the happier I am.

It takes work.  It takes a commitment to looking deep and being honest with yourself about what you really want and what’s really true for you – not what you or anyone else think “should” be, but what really is.

It takes a willingness to not know – and that’s very hard and frightening for many people.  But until you don’t know, you can’t find out, because you’re stuck in the mire of shoulds and expectations.

It takes experimentation and exploration, because it’s an organic unfolding that keeps going deeper and broader.  If – as my business partner used to say to me  – you keep pulling the seedling up to look at its roots, you only stunt its growth.

It takes an awareness of yourself and an understanding that the process isn’t “once and done” but an amazing evolution.

And I’ve come to see that for those of us who are in business from our hearts, it’s essential.

What do you think?  What’s your experience been with this process?

Their personalities are so strong and clear in everything they do that they sweep all before them. There’s no doubt who their audience is.  Everyone either loves them or hates them.  And both the love and the hate create a buzz around them.  They arrive on the scene as if out of nowhere and appear to achieve instant, overnight success.

For those of us who don’t have that type of personality, it can feel a tad frustrating.  You might be naturally more introverted – or you might just feel that you don’t want to be quite as brazen and in-your-face as some people are.  Whatever it is, you watch these people as they enjoy a level of success you’d kill for, and wish you had some of that secret sauce.

If it sounds like I’m speaking from a certain amount of experience, well, yeah.  Envy has come to roost in my office on more than a few occasions.  “Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I have dozens and hundreds of comments on my blog?  Why can’t I…”  And so on.

Have you ever been there? 

Of course, the reality is, those people worked very hard to get where they are.  They didn’t actually just appear out of nowhere; they climbed up to that place just like anyone else.  They had their own moments of struggle and doubt and fear.  And they suffer the consequences of being hated – look at some of those dozens and hundreds of comments on their blogs, and you’ll see plenty of angry disagreement and nastiness.

If you’re thinking you’d love to have problems like that, well, yeah.  I understand that, too.

The thing is, though, it’s got to be real. 

It’s obvious, of course, when I say you can’t decide to be “just like so-and-so,” but you’d be surprised how many people try it.  For instance, a terrific web designer I know (Allie Rice at alliecreative.com) reports that she often has clients who say, “I want my site to look just like …” 

Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.”   It’s annoyingly obvious.  And it’s vulnerable and scary.

However, the further I go along my own path of being in business, becoming vitally connected to what I do and why I do it, the more I discover that it’s essential.  When I show up as me, I may not feel as if I’m anywhere near the force of nature some people are.  But I have a lot more fun and a lot more success.

And I’m very grateful for my clients and my fans – because the reality is, I do have people who love me and my work. 

You do too.

If you’ll recall, I mentioned how only about 7% of people who say they’re going to follow up actually do follow up. 

I’ve continued testing that statistic.  I’ve talked with people about it (they’re universally surprised – “Only 7%?  really?”), and I’ve then given them a good reason to follow up with me.

Does it surprise you to learn that there’s absolutely no change to the statistic?  It’s still at about 7%.  Or less.   Pretty funny.  I thought I’d get at least 10%.

The good news is, if you DO follow up, you’re immediately at a huge advantage.  Whether you’re looking for a new client, a job, or just making connections, your following up means you’re part of a very select, very special minority. 

So how do you make following up easy?

On my last post, Alistair commented that he thinks one reason people don’t follow up is because they don’t view it as a separate step.  That’s a great observation, and spot on target. 

Schedule time in your calendar for follow-up

It can be as simple as that.  The day after an event, block out an hour for follow-up activities.  If you don’t need an hour (maybe you only met one person you want to connect with), great – it’s a gift of extra time in your day, yippee.

Promise people something

One of the biggest reasons people don’t follow up is because they have no reason to do so.  Without a reason, they waffle on sitting down to write the email or pick up the phone.  It’s hard to do.  In some ways, it’s even worse than making cold calls.  At least with cold calls (or cold emails) the person you’re trying to reach has a good reason for ignoring you – a reason that doesn’t have anything to do with you personally. 

But if you meet someone at an event and then email or call them a day or two later, and they never respond - it feels more like a personal rejection.

By promising to send something – an article they might be interested in, a link to a website or blog they’d find useful, whatever it might be – you now have a reason to be emailing or calling.  Not just any reason, either:  a reason based in your generosity.  You’re giving them something.   That makes it a LOT easier.

Not so incidentally, it also makes it easier for the person you’re following up with to respond back, even if just to say “thanks.” 

Make a concrete suggestion

The whole point of following up is to nurture the connection you began forming when you met. 

If the follow-up just says, “Hey, nice meeting you,” there’s not much nurturing going on, and not much point in bothering.

If this is someone you want to know better – and if it’s not, then why are you bothering? – it’s up to you to suggest a next step.  Usually, that’s to meet for coffee or lunch.  But don’t just say, “I’d like to get together for coffee sometime.”    That’s wishy-washy, and invites an equally wishy-washy answer.

Instead, try, “I’d like to continue our conversation over coffee.  How does next Tuesday at 3:00 sound?  Do you know any good places to meet?”

When you make a specific suggestion, the other person is far more likely to respond.  Even if she says “no,” she might offer an alternative time, date, or place. 

Other ideas?

What do you do as part of your follow-up process?

What stops you from following up?

If these ideas were useful, there are a lot more in my networking workbook-and-audio package. In fact, it’s full of practical material – exercises and information – about all aspects of networking, from why it feels so hard (and how to make it easier), to how to get very, very strategic about picking events to attend. Take a look!