I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I
have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others.
You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help
me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer,
which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, 
Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great
experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your
success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it —
that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone, 
I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been
increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that
came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have
greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev
Dwane AICI CIP, 
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone
who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D,
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig,
This following-up thing
So by now I’ve written two blog posts and a newsletter article about the importance of following up. (Links to all three are at the end of this post.)
Am I beating a dead horse, or are y’all still with me?
Because I’m absolutely serious when I say that if you’re not going to follow up, you might as well not bother with the preliminary work.
And you know what I mean by “preliminary work.”
Networking – finding the right events to attend, getting into a good frame of mind, walking out the door (and walking into the event), meeting people, making conversation – and making connections that lead to relationships.
Nurturing relationships – making sure people are crystal-clear about what you offer, fostering the relationship so they trust you enough to hire you or to send quality people your way, and letting them feel your appreciation when they do.
In other words, anything that puts you in touch with people who might be able to support you in some way, and – and I want to emphasize this! – whom you might be able to support in some way. (Pay it forward. You never know when you’re going to need help, and you never know what unexpected surprises and benefits will come from people you’ve helped.)
I can’t say it any more plainly and clearly than this: If you’re not going to follow up, don’t bother doing all that hard work.
Sometimes following up seems hard. There are plenty of times when I look at the follow-up reminders I set for myself and feel the weight of my fearful thoughts and anxieties about writing another email or making another phone call.
But I also know that as hard as following up may feel in any given moment, the reality is that the amount of work I’ve put into all those preliminaries is much more effort than any follow-up could possibly be.
Why would I want to waste it?
And I know I’m not making a pest of myself. I know I’m following up with people who indicated an interest, who want my help – or who want to help me.
In fact, people are often grateful when I follow up. And while I’ve sometimes been told “no, thanks,” it’s always been pleasant and thoughtful. No one has ever reacted negatively.
Now that I come to think of it, all the negative reaction about following up has been on my part.
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
And it’s funny how simple following up actually is - when I stop paying attention to my thoughts about it.*
And how much relief I feel.
How about you?
If this kicked off a thought process for you – tell me about it in the comments section.
And you can use the buttons below to Tweet about it or post it to your friends on Facebook.
* Notice that I don’t say, “stop thinking about it.” Trying to control thought is a losing battle. But I don’t have to listen to or believe the thoughts I think!
Links to blog posts: The second-hardest thing to do in networking and How to DO the second-hardest thing in networking
Article: A Simple Step toward Success
Posted under Alignment with your message.
Tags: Networking
Comments
Comment from
Grace
Time August 10, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Hi, Patty!
I see from your blog that you’re in the throes of working out networking-for-introverts. I can so relate! All that advice you mention in your post about making bazillions of connections was what made me realize that just doesn’t work – for the vast majority of people who would like to be networking more effectively (and less anxiously).
Love your point about the imperfect follow-up. I’d say that it’s better than none at all AND better than a perfect follow-up. Imperfection is real. It’s also in the eye of the beholder; you’re probably feeling it’s a whole lot more imperfect than the recipient does.
Good luck with your networking. I hope you’ll come back and tell me (and other readers) how it goes!
Comment from
elaine
Time August 12, 2010 at 8:31 am
Oww. It hurts just to think about following up. And what stops me from doing it is – I think you mentioned it in the newsletter – feeling like I’m making a nuisance of myself. After all, if they were that interested, they would have contacted me, no?
But it did remind me of an experience of someone who did follow up. I’d signed up for a free trial of a hosted website. I’d no intention of going ahead. They were the competition for the project I was developing, and I wanted to see how they did it. Imagine how startled I was when *they followed up. After a couple of weeks I got an email saying they’d noticed I hadn’t been very active on the website. Followed a week later by a phone call asking if I needed any help. Yikes. A real human being!! It was something like being caught not doing your homework, mixed with shock that Big Brother had been watching me. But maybe I was overly sensitive, due to my less than honorable motives for signing up in the first place 
Comment from
Grace
Time August 12, 2010 at 8:48 am
Elaine – Yes, that “I’m being a pest” thing is a pretty powerful and awfully limiting belief.
Love your story! And the thing is, what if you turn it around? What if you’d actually signed up for the trial because you were truly interested, rather than doing competitive research?
In that case, I imagine the follow-up call might have brought feelings of relief, surprise, and a sense of being cared for. Especially if you were a little bit of a technophobe.
Y’know??
Comment from Patty K
Time August 10, 2010 at 5:31 pm
Great information. (I also read your previous post, the other 2 you linked to and the article.)
I’ve definitely been part of the 93% that doesn’t follow up.
You are, of course, only 100% right about not wasting your time in the first place if you don’t intend to follow up.
Because I get more than a little nervous about attending networking events, I tend not to think further ahead and about following up later.
Combined with your advice to offer to send specific information (which is great…because I totally get stopped at the “what do I say?” point), I found 2 things really useful as far as following up goes:
1. Do it immediately. For me, this means the minute I get home and on my computer, while I’m still feeling “high” from actually going through with the event.
2. Don’t over think it. If I leave an email over night in the hopes that I’ll be able to “word it better” later, it somehow never gets done. An “imperfect” follow up is better than none at all.
And yeah, it’s definitely our thoughts that cause the problems. The actual typing and sending or dialing and talking are not a big deal on their own.
Thank you for this.
Patty K invites you to read Preparing for the dreaded networking event