Secrets of the Woman Next Door:
Stories of Ordinary Women Living Extraordinary Lives
This is a series of recorded interviews with women who insist on living life
on their own terms. One local newspaper calls it “Better than Reality TV”; read
the article here, and see another article
from a county-level Sunday paper here
(both require Acrobat Reader).
You’ll hear real women — women who could be your neighbors — talking about the turning points in their lives, the choices and decisions they have made, and the challenges and triumphs they face living life “outside the box.”
Most of these women achieved traditional corporate or academic success before turning down a
less-travelled path; some set off on that path right from the start. These are not fairy tales, nor are
they fantasies based on unusual circumstances or
privilege. These are real women whose stories hold out hope and inspiration to everyone
and anyone who has unrealized dreams or wonder why they feel oddly uneasy about how their life is going.
The promise is that there is more to life and change
is possible, no matter where your life is today!
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
From “The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost
Click the date and interviewee name to listen to the recording; right-click (PC) or option-click (Mac) to save the recording to your computer.
December 19, 2006: Lisa Sasevich,
the Queen of Sales Conversion.
This interview went in a bit of a different direction than others in this series, because Lisa generously shared many of her techniques with us, and took questions from the audience and from me with great good humor and willingness.
In fact, this is a call I know I’ll listen to several times myself, just to hear her use her gentle, helpful, and certainly non-“sales-y” approach — it’s an education to hear the techniques used early in the call before she’s explained them!
Listen to the call to hear some of her many simple, low- or no-cost marketing and sales ideas, and visit her website The Invisible Close to learn more or order her book. (Note: at the time of the interview, Lisa was on maternity leave; if her site is marked “Coming Soon,” she hasn’t yet returned. However, you can email her directly with your questions.) Sadly, you won’t be able to order it for the discounted price she offered in the call, but — as a reader and fan — I believe there’s tremendous value even at full price!
December 5, 2006: Marcy Mermel,
change agent, small business transition specialist, philanthropist, avid golfer, choral singer and (ex) actress.
Marcy’s three key principles reflect a common thread that has run throughout these interviews.
- Never say No.
- Understand your own value.
- Always give back.
She says that if you completely understand an opportunity and don’t want to do it, that’s one thing. “But ... don’t say no because you’re scared or because it sounds too big or it sounds too small or it sounds ... Let the universe let that person — however the message is going to get to — let that come to you.”
“I am absolutely a complete, whole incarnation all by myself, and anyone or thing is only going to add value or take away value ... The realization is that I would like to only add value to everything I do. And also the boundary ... of wanting that people and places and things only add value to my life. And again, that could be through a lesson ... whatever way it comes.”
November 21, 2006: Lily Chin, entrepreneur
extraordinaire, knitting and crochet designer, whose sucesses include the
Lily Chin Signature Collection line
of yarns.
Lily’s enthusiasm and energy are unquenchable and come across clearly even in a phone conversation! She talks about her rise through the garment industry to become a leader in what she calls the “micro-niche” of hobby knitting and crocheting, and about key marketing, promotional, and strategic skills that she feels have served her well over the years.
No stranger to insecurity and fear despite her success, Lily describes techniques
for harnessing those feelings to motivate you forward. “A lot of people are frozen in fear. They let
their fears get in the way of making any move. But quite frankly I would just as soon fail at something —
but I’ve tried it at least — but not to have tried it at all?!”
“The first step in making it possible is to see yourself there,” she added. “If you are frozen in fear, try to use the fear as a motivator. Fear is very powerful. Just as fear can get in the way and be an obstruction...fear can also help push you towards something. And I think that fear of staying put in some dead-end situation should be enough of a motivation to get off your hieny and do something about it!”
October 17, 2006: Carri Scuba, whose business Core Vision Concepts offers coaching services designed to bring out the greatness that’s inside us all.
Carri calls herself a “conduit for people realizing their passion and owning their greatness”
— and that’s undoubtedly a significant part of her tremendous success as a coach! Her Manifesto is a beautiful and passionate declaration of
what she stands for.
Combining her personal experience of discovering her life calling (which included months of research both into her own motivations and passions, interviews with people in the fields she was considering, as well as extensive reading — while taking note of which topics she found particularly inspirational) with her experiences with clients, Carri has created a process for leading people through similar paths of self-discovery and success.
Her dedication and skill have led her to create what most working mothers only dream of — a highly successful career that allows her ample time to spend with her young daughter and husband. “It can be done!” she says, and she’s living proof!
October 3, 2006: Sharon Bitz, Western Division Senior Vice President of a major financial organization.
We had a wonderful conversation with Sharon, with plenty of questions from the audience and a lot of
insightful and sometimes surprising insights into what a corporate career can be at its best.
We covered so much — generosity, teaching, learning, self-confidence, how and when to make change, ways to get “unstuck,” the importance of mentors and coaches — so selecting a single quote to represent the complete interview was impossible! Since an underlying theme of her comments and philosophy was change — why people seek change and how to use change effectively — I finally settled on a summary of those thoughts.
“I’m a big proponent of change, and I think change is very motivating... On the other hand...many times an external change is not what you need. And so I see people jumping ship and making a move, and it’s not for a higher position, and it’s not for more money. They’re just doing it because they say they ‘need a change.’ And if they need a change, that change is from within. An external change will not satisfy that itch that you need to scratch. So before you make any change, I recommend taking a few days off and going away somewhere by yourself — your favorite place in the world that means solitude to you — and really think it through, and maybe talk to somebody that’s completely objective — a total stranger — whatever it takes to really decide if that change should be internal or external.”
September 19, 2006: Dorothy Rose, entrepreneur extraordinaire and Executive Director of the Orange County Symphony.
Dorothy is an amazing, eclectic, and vibrant woman, who has been an instinctive (and successful) entrepreneur all her life. Passionate about the necessity for lifelong learning and what she calls “correlative awareness,” she’s also adamant about responsibility (“We have to take responsibility for our own happiness. And once we do that — my goodness, what a change. What an incredible moment of discovery!”).
This was a fascinating and wide-ranging conversation (almost as eclectic as Dorothy herself), and one that I’ll be listening to again and learning from every time!
September 5, 2006: Open discussion with the group on the topic of selfishness.
This was a surprise for us all! Our scheduled guest was sick — very sad for her, but it turned out to
be fun for us! Instead of having an interview, we had an open-forum discussion about a topic that has come up
in several of the previous calls, and will come up again with future guests: selfishness. Is it a good
thing in your life? Do you know how to decide how selfish you can afford to be in order to achieve your
big goals?
We had a lively discussion, with great concepts and inspiring stories brought forth by all the participants!
August 15, 2006: Shannon Thompson, founder and Visionary Director of Shakti Rising
Shakti Rising is a revolutionary, leading-edge, and highly-successful women’s recovery center located in San Diego.
Shannon, who founded Shakti in 1997 (it became officially nonprofit in 1999), is passionate
and opinionated about the role of social services (“Our goal is to put ourselves out of business!”)
and the results of the work Shakti Rising does with young women (“I’ve come to realize that Shakti is
actually a leadership development program that is purposefully cultivating emerging leadership in these young
women who are often cast aside in our society, but who I firmly believe are not only our future, but have a
different understanding of possible solutions that are perhaps out of the paradigm of the way we think.”)
This was a fascinating, inspiring, and at times moving conversation that led to several thoughtful and in some ways poignant questions from the audience.
August 1, 2006: Carolyn Wilki, owner of Raspberry Ridge Sheep Farm
“Do you want to be a rudderless boat tossed around on the sea, and take your chances surviving that way — or do you want to try to be the captain and fix the rudder, bail the boat, fix the sail, and try to steer someplace, not knowing if you’ll get there or not? My advice would be to take control of your life and do something!”
Along with being an obvious proponent of taking control, Carolyn is a firm believer
in the value of down-time — time to process and think, which everyone needs and few corporations
allow in this “do more with less” era. That lack was one of the
biggest factors in Carolyn’s decision to leave corporate sales, move to a sheep farm, and teach herding and
other aspects of dog training. Now — although as the owner of a sheep farm and an in-demand
dog trainer she’s “busier than a one-armed paper-hanger,” — she can manage her personal time to
be sure she gets her think-and-process time “standing around watching sheep eat!”
July 18, 2006: Ellen Sullivan, co-owner of The Lavender Fields
Ellen credits her wide-ranging background, which includes restaurant management, financial planning
and securities sales, and account management for several major moving-van lines, with preparing her
to run a demanding and successful organic lavender farm.
She talks about the transition process as well as the three key things she feels are necessary for success in any endeavor:
- Stay open to opportunity; don’t say no!
- Focus, focus, focus.
- Be very selfish. She says, “Selfish is a good word in this house!” Fine-tune your plans according to how selfish you can afford to be.