Svaha: the time between seeing lightning and hearing the thunder
I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others. You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer, which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, The Remembering Room, Richmond, Illinois
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D, smARTist® Telesummit, Millers Falls, Massachusetts
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig, Priority Ventures Group, Raleigh, North Carolina
You’ve built such integrity of message in your company. I know that’s because it springs forth intrinsically, but you stay so focused at your core! I can’t think of a better way to phrase that laser-beam focus you have. It’s funny, because in someone else, laser-beam focus would be intense, but somehow you manage to make it much more kind and easy. — Jessica Albon, Thrive Your Tribe, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
I’ve never worked with anybody in the way that I’ve worked with you in terms of trusting in your abilities to the level that I have. — Catherine Hajnal PhD, Eight Branches Consulting, Vancouver, Canada ... facilitating and nurturing joyful living
You have an uncanny ability to see through what is being said and surface all the “unsaid” issues. Then you quickly give candid feedback and have a tremendous toolbox to help me move forward through your expert guidance of the right tool.
I have worked with many facilitators/coaches/counselors relating to work and personal situations. Your skills are exemplary and moved me faster than I ever expected. — Jennifer Baker, Fishers, Indiana
You bring both a spiritual perspective and some real-world hard-headedness. — Janet Bailey, Mindful Time Management, San Francisco, California
Brava! I wish I could draw a picture of me — you’d see me in a deep bow to you!
I read your newsletter as soon as it hits my in-box and you’re always right on with your advice. I had to let you know that this issue is particularly brilliant.
I will definitely keep this info — and your contact info — in a secure place.
Thanks so much for sharing your insight and wisdom. — Debbie Rodgers, CGA
April 13 2010
Most small business owners fall into a subtle trap. I call it the “when X, then Y” trap.
“When my website is perfect, then I can start my marketing campaign.”
“When I have my elevator speech really right, then I can go to networking events.”
“When my business card says exactly what I want, then I can get it printed up professionally.”
“When I know all about my subject, then I can go for the big, important clients.”
In short, there’s always something else, just one more thing, that you have to do before you’re “ready.”
It’s an easy trap to fall into. I know I’ve worked my way through plenty of “when X, then Y” thoughts. And I hear them from my clients all the time.
What’s underneath these “when X, then Y” statements is startling.
Under every one of them is the belief, “I can’t be successful ... until I’m successful.”
But which comes first — the chicken or the egg?
It’s easy to feel as if you have to present a perfect, polished, professional image to the world. Whether you’re just getting started or you’ve been in business for a while, it’s easy to look at other people and feel as if they have more credibility than you.
This leads to playing small. You might be marketing yourself to people who can’t quite afford you. You may hesitate to take advantage of opportunities that come your way. You could be thinking, “They’d never take me seriously — who am I to be out there doing that?”
But staying safely within the boundaries of what you know you can do just serves to keep you within those boundaries. Your mind may tell you that you’re building your credibility, getting good testimonials, working on your process — there are a thousand ways to justify it. (And believe me, I’ve used plenty of them!)
The “when X, then Y” trap is sneaky. Even when you’re aware of how it holds you back, you’ll find it creeping up on you, seducing you into believing it.
If this trap sounds familiar to you, here are some suggestions to free yourself from it and move forward.
Write down all the non-revenue-generating projects you’re working on.
By “non-revenue-generating,” I mean every project you’re not being paid for.
Yes, perfecting that e-book will generate revenue eventually, and I’m not saying it shouldn’t be done. The point is, the time you’re spending on it right now isn’t creating a penny of income.
The sneaky thing about “when X, then Y” is that you usually deeply believe that you truly do have to do X before you can move forward and achieve Y. So get help reviewing your list. Ask a friend for a serious reality check on whether you’re spending your time in the right ways. Tell him or her that you want to be challenged!
You’ll probably find — if you get very honest with yourself — that many, if not all, of the projects on your list do not need to be completed before you move forward with all the fire and inspiration that caused you to go into business in the first place.
What do you want to do with your business ... someday? What would you do right now if there were no obstacles and anything was possible?
What dreams do you have about who you might work with, the people you’ll be helping?
Be open and vulnerable with yourself in making this list. Write from your heart, not from your mind. Let yourself dream, imagine, and create.
And really do write it down. It’s important to get this into words on paper.
For each of those dreams and wishes, what has to come first?
You can see where this is going, I’m sure.
Nonetheless, I encourage you to complete the exercise in writing. There’s power in putting it down in words on paper or on your computer screen.
Is it really true that these things have to come first?
I may not know you or what it is that you offer to the world. But I do know that it’s worthwhile. Why? Because it’s calling you to step up and do it!
And if you wait until you have “X” before you step out there to do “Y” ... you’re denying all those people who need what you have.
So is it really, really true that those things have to come first?
Your mind isn’t going to stop with the “No, wait, you have to do/be/know/have THIS first!” thoughts.
But you don’t have to listen.
Most people have let a phone ring unanswered. Everyone has listened to, but not really heard, the old familiar complaints from a friend, co-worker, child, or spouse.
What would happen if you let your mind think its thoughts ... and paid no more attention than you would to the sound of traffic going past your house or the TV playing in the other room?
In the end, if you’re in business for yourself, you’ve got to stretch. You’ve got to take the risk. You’ve got to get out there on the end of the high-dive board, hold your nose, and jump.
So why not go for it right now?
“If you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.” Erica Jong, 1942-, American author and teacher.
“What you risk reveals what you value.” Jeanette Winterson, 1959-, British novelist.
“Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.” Katherine Mansfield, 1888-1923, New Zealand-born author of modernist fiction
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