Svaha: the time between seeing lightning and hearing the thunder
I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others. You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer, which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, The Remembering Room, Richmond, Illinois
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You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig, Priority Ventures Group, Raleigh, North Carolina
You’ve built such integrity of message in your company. I know that’s because it springs forth intrinsically, but you stay so focused at your core! I can’t think of a better way to phrase that laser-beam focus you have. It’s funny, because in someone else, laser-beam focus would be intense, but somehow you manage to make it much more kind and easy. — Jessica Albon, Thrive Your Tribe, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
I’ve never worked with anybody in the way that I’ve worked with you in terms of trusting in your abilities to the level that I have. — Catherine Hajnal PhD, Eight Branches Consulting, Vancouver, Canada ... facilitating and nurturing joyful living
You have an uncanny ability to see through what is being said and surface all the “unsaid” issues. Then you quickly give candid feedback and have a tremendous toolbox to help me move forward through your expert guidance of the right tool.
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Brava! I wish I could draw a picture of me — you’d see me in a deep bow to you!
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There are a lot of bloggers, writers, coaches, and others out there who seem to be on a mission to convince everyone that self-employment is the way to go.
It’s not necessarily so. Self-employment isn’t for everyone. And thank goodness for it, or a lot of things we rely on — from toilet paper to cars to the Internet and a whole lot more — would be unavailable.
At the same time, it breaks my heart when I talk to people who have wonderful ideas for businesses they yearn to start ... but they can’t quite bring themselves to take the plunge.
Some of them are choosing to stay employed. They tell me they feel safer that way — even though we can all see, given the turmoil of today’s job market, what an illusion that safety actually is.
Others are hesitating to take their current business in exciting new directions. They say they aren’t sure how to make the transition, or they don’t know how to fit this new thing into their existing structure.
Of course, as most of them are well aware, the root of these choices and hesitations is fear, plain and simple.
A few months ago, I was caught in my own cycle of fear. My business partner said to me, “Life is short. What do you really want?”
He was right. Life is too short not to do what I want to do, especially when I can see the service it provides to my clients.
Your fear is a direct pointer to what’s important to you. If the idea of doing something in your business — whether it’s starting it in the first place, or taking it in a different direction — feels terrifying, celebrate! Because that fear means you could be onto something big.
Yet fear can also feel overwhelming and immobilizing. And your mind will tell you that it’s sensible to hestitate. It will produce any number of nice, logical reasons why you should play it safe and stay away from taking risks with your business or your career. With all that logic drowning out the voice of inspiration, it’s easy to turn away from your fear and stay in a place of apparent safety.
What would happen if you turned towards your fear instead of away? What would happen if you followed your fear and allowed it to point the way to what truly inspires you?
Here are some ways to explore these possibilities — and to work with the fear that arises.
Many people are afraid of feeling fear, and tend to turn away from what’s causing it. It’s often such a knee-jerk reaction that you may not even be aware that you felt anything more than a moment of anxiety or nervousness.
When you turn away so quickly, you don’t give yourself a chance to see what’s really going on.
On the other hand, if you allow yourself to notice what you’re feeling, you open a space for more understanding. You open a space for yourself to look deeper and see what it is that’s creating the fear.
My clients are often quick to assign labels to what appears to be causing their fear. Fear of failure and fear of success are the two I hear most often.
But is that really it? What is failure to you? What is success?
When you take it deeper, you may realize — as one client did — that fear of success might actually be fear of being overwhelmed.
Or — as another client discovered — you’ll see that fear of failure could be fear of the vulnerability of deeply caring about what you do.
Whether you’ve labelled your feelings as fear of failure, success, or something else entirely, take a second and third look. What do those things really mean to you? What are the consequences that your mind is imagining might happen?
Once you see what the fear is really about, you can start to ask meaningful questions about it.
For example, what would happen if you were overwhelmed? What beliefs do you have about how you’d feel? What backup plans can you put in place so that you’ll quickly have help if you need it?
What does it mean to be passionate about what you do? What’s the cost of not being passionate about your work?
As you ask gentle, curious, open-ended questions about what’s causing your fear, you may discover a feeling of spaciousness and a relaxing of fear’s tight grip.
Being in business for yourself is risky.
So, as we’ve seen in this economy especially, is having a job.
Only you can decide which risk you prefer. And only you can decide whether the risk — and the associated fear — is something you want to accept, turn towards, and listen to.
Self-employment isn’t for everyone. And not every business idea is worth pursuing. Likewise, a corporate career isn’t for everyone — and has its own challenges and fears.
Life is short. What do you want?
“Fear is a question. What are you afraid of, and why? Just as the seed of health is in illness ... your fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if you explore them.” Marilyn Ferguson, 1938-2008, American author, editor, and speaker.
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