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Keep On Keeping On

Many of my clients, readers, and friends tell me that they feel like they’re running out of steam.

Whatever it is that’s got them down — jobhunting, starting a business, trying to take their business to the next level, or simply trying to stay positive and focused — it seems as if a lot of people are just worn out. The long recession, whether you’ve been personally affected or not, has taken its toll on everyone’s energy. As one friend put it, it’s like being a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs: a little difficult to navigate without getting pinched.

It’s been a tough few years, to be sure. If you’ve not been directly affected, you’re one of the fortunate few — and it’s certain that you know people who have suffered in one way or another. However, without meaning to sound unrealistically chirpy, I’d like to point out that a happy cat has his tail straight up in the air, and thus isn’t at risk from those rockers. I’m not advocating a false sense of optimism, but at the same time, doom-and-gloom isn’t any more accurate.

Whether you believe in the signs of a recovery or not, you still need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And if you can find a way to put a spring in your step as you do so, so much the better. Here are a few suggestions to try.

Accept that you don’t know

Dealing with the unpredictability of these last few years has been a struggle for most people. It’s human nature to want to know what’s going to happen. And when things are calm, the illusion that you do know is easy to maintain.

Unfortunately, as the instability of recent times has proven, that secure feeling of “knowing” what’s coming is indeed an illusion. The fact is that none of us really knows what’s going to happen next, no matter how much we like to believe that our plans will unfold as expected.

As an experiment, imagine that it’s okay (instead of stressful) to not know what’s going to happen. How would you feel and act? What would you do differently? Can you actually rest in that place of not knowing and allow yourself to be curious?

Experience moves

All experience has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

This time, like any other, is an experience.

Here in the middle of it you may feel as if it will never change. But as the old saying goes, this too shall pass.

And although, as I said above, you don’t know what will happen next, you can know that something will happen, and that it will eventually be different from what’s happening now.

Do your feelings and your perspective change when you see that what’s happening is neither endless nor stuck? What seems different from this point of view?

What nourishes you?

It’s easy to get trapped in feeling that you have to keep working hard, nonstop, with no break allowed. Especially if you have financial concerns (and who doesn’t!), keeping your nose to the grindstone may feel like your only option.

But grinding yourself down to an exhausted shadow doesn’t do you, or anyone else, any good. It’s not necessary, and ultimately it’s counter-productive. Yes, hanging in there with your job-hunt, or with the activities necessary to build your business, or with what’s needed to stay visible and productive in the office — it’s all important. And yes, you may have financial constraints that prevent you from taking the vacation you really want.

Yet there are always options for taking a break, indulging in a little luxury, and treating yourself to some time and space.

Go to the library and check out a trashy novel or a good movie; explore a park you’ve never visited before; take advantage of free classes at your local garden center, museum, library, or small business administration.

Drive to an area of town you’ve never explored, and then park and take a walk and see what you can discover — or just keep on driving and have fun getting lost. Spend an afternoon doing absolutely nothing at all. Find a way to cook something completely different with ingredients you have on hand.

In short, consider what nourishes you and make a commitment to give it to yourself on a regular basis. If finances are a concern, engage your curiosity and sense of play to find fun things to do that don’t cost much — or anything at all. Everything on the list above is completely without cost, except for the gas you might use driving to the library, a class, or getting lost!

What does “help” mean?

One client was feeling overwhelmed by jobhunting advice from well-meaning friends and family. When she stopped discussing her job search with them and focused instead on shared interests and activities, spending time with them became fun and rewarding again instead of draining.

As I suggested to her, when you’re clear about how you want help (or even if you want help), you’re more likely to get what you need. Take a few moments to define for yourself what support you’d appreciate. Then when a friend offers unwanted advice or assistance, you can gently explain what they could do that would really be helpful.

If you’ve ever hiked mountain trails, you know that an uphill climb can sometimes seem endless. The effort of putting one foot in front of the other, over and over again, starts feeling overwhelming.

But then — sometimes quite suddenly — you’re there: at the top, enjoying the view. And even the people who were groaning the loudest during the climb are glad they stuck it out.

Keep on keeping on. You will get there — and things will change!

“Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.” Charles F. Kettering, 1876-1958, American inventor, holder of 140 patents, founder of Delco, and head of research for General Motors from 1920-1947.

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