Svaha: the time between seeing lightning and hearing the thunder
I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others. You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer, which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, The Remembering Room, Richmond, Illinois
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D, smARTist® Telesummit, Millers Falls, Massachusetts
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig, Priority Ventures Group, Raleigh, North Carolina
You’ve built such integrity of message in your company. I know that’s because it springs forth intrinsically, but you stay so focused at your core! I can’t think of a better way to phrase that laser-beam focus you have. It’s funny, because in someone else, laser-beam focus would be intense, but somehow you manage to make it much more kind and easy. — Jessica Albon, Thrive Your Tribe, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
I’ve never worked with anybody in the way that I’ve worked with you in terms of trusting in your abilities to the level that I have. — Catherine Hajnal PhD, Eight Branches Consulting, Vancouver, Canada ... facilitating and nurturing joyful living
You have an uncanny ability to see through what is being said and surface all the “unsaid” issues. Then you quickly give candid feedback and have a tremendous toolbox to help me move forward through your expert guidance of the right tool.
I have worked with many facilitators/coaches/counselors relating to work and personal situations. Your skills are exemplary and moved me faster than I ever expected. — Jennifer Baker, Fishers, Indiana
You bring both a spiritual perspective and some real-world hard-headedness. — Janet Bailey, Mindful Time Management, San Francisco, California
Brava! I wish I could draw a picture of me — you’d see me in a deep bow to you!
I read your newsletter as soon as it hits my in-box and you’re always right on with your advice. I had to let you know that this issue is particularly brilliant.
I will definitely keep this info — and your contact info — in a secure place.
Thanks so much for sharing your insight and wisdom. — Debbie Rodgers, CGA
If you want to go to Paris, it helps to know if you’re starting from London or New York. Will you be hopping a train for a two-hour whiz through the Chunnel or climbing onto a plane for an eight-hour transatlantic flight? It all depends on where you are to begin with.
You can’t get there from here if you don’t know where “here” is.
I’ve noticed recently that many people — new acquaintances and old friends as well as my clients — are feeling confused and uncertain about where they are and where they want to go. It’s a result of our current economic uncertainty, and for many reasons I think it’s a good thing. People are more willing than ever before to think about what it is they value and what a richer experience of life would really mean to them.
The unavoidable fact remains: you can’t get there from here if you don’t know where “here” is.
Most people spend a lot of time and effort denying or trying to transcend uncomfortable situations and feelings. Especially in times of economic stress, when you have steady work — whether you’re self-employed or an employee — you may feel that change, no matter how much you crave something different, isn’t safe. And you might believe that pursuing change, especially if the change is potentially radical (a new career, for instance), is self-indulgent, self-centered, selfish.
So you spend your days doing work that stifles your creativity and sucks the life out of you. And then you go home and eat too much, drink too much, and snarl at your loved ones.
New clients often tell me that their current work isn’t right for them, but they’re willing to hang in there with it until they figure out what it is they do want. This is when I start the countdown clock in my head. I can be pretty sure that they’ll come back before too long and say ... no. No. No, I can’t hang in there with this. Something needs to change now!
Why is it almost inevitably the case?
Because stating, “This isn’t right, and I’m going to start exploring what I want instead,” is the biggest step in saying YES to where you are.
Until you say that “Yes,” it’s difficult to even begin the process of understanding what’s next. On the other hand, after you say “Yes,” you start to see that there are options — possibly many of them.
Here are two steps to get you started.
Note: While these tips make the assumption that you’re currently working, you can also use them to help you understand how you feel about your career overall, even if you’re in transition. Simply cast your mind back to how you felt about your work when you were actively engaged with it, and consider also how you’re feeling about continuing your career.
How you feel when you leave work is the single most telling indicator of how you feel about what you’re doing.
It’s natural to feel tired — after all, you’ve put in a full day. But if you’re routinely (versus occasionally) exhausted, depleted, lethargic, angry, frustrated, apathetic, panicky, or bored ... then something’s not right.
Put a notepad and pen where you’ll see it every day after work. For the next few weeks, jot down two or three descriptive words that express how you feel about your workday.
At the end of those weeks, you’ll notice a consistent theme. If it’s positive, terrific: you’re in a good place. If it’s negative, it may be time to take a look at what’s happening.
It’s easy to judge yourself for how you feel, whether your feelings are what you’d call positive or negative.
Even if you feel good about your work, you might also feel guilty because so many people are out of work right now, or perhaps because your best friend hates his job.
If you feel bad about your work, you could also feel guilty — at least you have work! — and feel as if you “should” be grateful, or “should” appreciate your opportunity.
Notice your judgments — and then just allow yourself to feel what you feel, without trying to change it or transcend it.
Notice, too, where these feelings land in your body. There’s always a physical component. Perhaps this explains the nagging headache you’ve experienced, or your persistent lower-back pain — or even the feeling of excitement and energy!
That’s all. Just notice your feelings and say yes to them. Turn towards them — and yourself — instead of away.
It’s the first step towards clarity about where you are. And that’s the first step towards clarity about what you really want. As you say “Yes” to your feelings and your new understanding of where you are, you’ll find that change starts arising and unfolding for you.
“The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.” Joseph Campbell, 1904-1987, American mythologist, writer, lecturer, and philosopher.
If you liked this article, you can
sign up to receive my regular newsletter!