Svaha: the time between seeing lightning and hearing the thunder
I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others. You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer, which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, The Remembering Room, Richmond, Illinois
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You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig, Priority Ventures Group, Raleigh, North Carolina
You’ve built such integrity of message in your company. I know that’s because it springs forth intrinsically, but you stay so focused at your core! I can’t think of a better way to phrase that laser-beam focus you have. It’s funny, because in someone else, laser-beam focus would be intense, but somehow you manage to make it much more kind and easy. — Jessica Albon, Thrive Your Tribe, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
I’ve never worked with anybody in the way that I’ve worked with you in terms of trusting in your abilities to the level that I have. — Catherine Hajnal PhD, Eight Branches Consulting, Vancouver, Canada ... facilitating and nurturing joyful living
You have an uncanny ability to see through what is being said and surface all the “unsaid” issues. Then you quickly give candid feedback and have a tremendous toolbox to help me move forward through your expert guidance of the right tool.
I have worked with many facilitators/coaches/counselors relating to work and personal situations. Your skills are exemplary and moved me faster than I ever expected. — Jennifer Baker, Fishers, Indiana
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Brava! I wish I could draw a picture of me — you’d see me in a deep bow to you!
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Thanks so much for sharing your insight and wisdom. — Debbie Rodgers, CGA
Monday morning. Or maybe it strikes Sunday night.
You know what I mean.
That sinking feeling in your stomach.
You have to go to work, and you really, really don’t want to.
If it’s a very bad case, you might even feel panicky or tearful when the alarm goes off in the morning. Or maybe you’re caught between your demon and your angel, arguing about whether to call in sick.
With the job market the way it is, you might also be feeling guilty — at least you have a job. (Those of you who don’t, bear with me for just a moment more; these ideas will work for you, too.)
So, now what? What’s next? Do you just tough it out, suffer in silence, stick with it even though you feel as if the life is being sucked out of you?
Please don’t! There are ways to feel better right now (employed or not), and approaches that will help you figure out what’s next.
Face the fact that you aren’t enjoying your current situation. As long as you resist, deny, or try to transcend what you’re feeling, you only prolong — and intensify — your discomfort. And that delays the process of identifying what really is next for you.
Allow yourself to express what you feel. This doesn’t mean wallowing in it or being dramatic about it. It just means saying, “Yes. This is how I feel right now. This is what’s real for me in this moment.”
In the middle of what seems like an impossible job market, it’s easy to feel trapped and stuck.
Stop for a moment and ask yourself: what’s really important to you? What matters most, and how can you have more of that in your life, no matter what your job situation may be?
Get creative. Having more of what’s important doesn’t mean spending money. In fact, thought it may seem like a cliche, ideas and options that cost little or nothing will be far more fun and rewarding.
Your mind may be telling you all sorts of stories. Are you envisioning your family becoming homeless, having to move in with your parents, or (perhaps worst of all!) having to work at that soul-squashing job for the rest of your life?
The truth is, the future is unknown, no matter how hard your mind tries to tell you otherwise. Things will change — they always do. This moment is an experience, and experiences have a beginning, a middle, and an end. When you’re in the middle, it can feel like forever, but as the saying goes, this too shall pass.
Like most people, you probably believe that you’re supposed to know what you want and have a plan to get it.
It’s easy to get stuck there, and feel as if there’s nothing you can do until you do know. It’s also easy to feel panicky when you don’t seem to be able to figure it all out.
Just let “I don’t know” be real. Because once you allow yourself to really feel it — “Hey, wow, I don’t know!” — you’ll find space and freedom.
Curiosity is a tremendously useful tool. It’s almost impossible to feel stuck, immobilized by panic or fear, when you’re profoundly curious. You may still feel afraid — that’s natural when faced with change — but it’s not likely to be immobilizing.
So engage your curiosity about what’s up for you. What is it that you hate about where you are? What’s missing from your current experience — and what’s present that you do enjoy? What excites you, intrigues you, and motivates you?
Action can be the smallest of steps, or the largest. You might simply spend time this weekend allowing yourself to admit that what’s happening right now isn’t working for you, and talking about it with a close friend. You could do something you love, but haven’t had time for recently. Or you could start researching what a new job or new career might mean for you.
Whatever action you take, from the smallest of steps to the biggest of plans, you’ll find yourself feeling less trapped, able to take a deeper breath and lift your head a little higher. The tiniest action, even if it’s just an initial plan to take the smallest baby-step, will start to release some of the built-up tension and stress.
When you acknowledge that your current situation isn’t working for you and get curious about how change might happen, you’re allowing yourself options, choices, and alternatives.
You give yourself a gift of freedom.
“To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive.” Robert Louis Stevenson, 1850-1894, Scottish novelist, poet, essayist, and travel writer.
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