Svaha: the time between seeing lightning and hearing the thunder
I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others. You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer, which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, The Remembering Room, Richmond, Illinois
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You’ve built such integrity of message in your company. I know that’s because it springs forth intrinsically, but you stay so focused at your core! I can’t think of a better way to phrase that laser-beam focus you have. It’s funny, because in someone else, laser-beam focus would be intense, but somehow you manage to make it much more kind and easy. — Jessica Albon, Thrive Your Tribe, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
I’ve never worked with anybody in the way that I’ve worked with you in terms of trusting in your abilities to the level that I have. — Catherine Hajnal PhD, Eight Branches Consulting, Vancouver, Canada ... facilitating and nurturing joyful living
You have an uncanny ability to see through what is being said and surface all the “unsaid” issues. Then you quickly give candid feedback and have a tremendous toolbox to help me move forward through your expert guidance of the right tool.
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It’s no news to anyone that things are a tad interesting in the corporate world today.
Even healthy companies, with strong balance sheets and in-demand products or services, are showing signs of trouble.
I’m not talking about earnings reports or layoffs. I’m talking about the ways that their people, and therefore their teams and departments, are imploding from the stress.
Friends and clients across the country and in every industry are telling me about suspicion, paranoia, back-stabbing, favoritism, defensiveness, anger ... you name it, every nasty aspect of the corporate world is suddenly rising to the surface. One client told me last week that the announcement of layoffs at her company was actually a relief to everyone. At least people finally knew!
Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s difficult. Yes, it’s unfair to all of you who are working hard, doing your best, and finding yourself subjected to even more stress by the behavior of everyone around you.
Fear makes people do very strange things.
Right now, many people are afraid.
So there are a lot of strange things happening in the halls of corporate America.
Given the tight job market, it’s wise to suppress your urge to scream, “I quit!” and slam your boss’s door on the way out. But how can you cope with what’s going on? Here are some alternative perspectives.
Even when someone appears to be attacking you directly in some way, whether it’s an unreasonable demand on your time or straight-out nastiness, they’re more likely to be reacting to their own feelings of fear and uncertainty than to you personally.
You may be thinking that they shouldn’t inflict their fear on everyone around them. However, the fact is that they are. When you argue with that reality, you’re just giving yourself one more thing to be stressed about. Instead, ask yourself what they’re afraid of, and notice how their behavior is a direct consequence of that fear.
Check in with yourself, as well. How is your behavior being affected by how you feel?
The reactions all chain together. One person makes a request that someone else hears as an unreasonable demand. That person snaps at the next person he sees. On and on it goes, everyone contracting defensively around their anxiety and fear of the unknown. The reaction chain lengthens and winds itself tighter, becoming a huge weight dragging everyone down.
Become an observer of yourself. Notice your impulse to react. Notice, too, that you can choose to drop the chain; it doesn’t have to travel onward through you.
Everything that’s going on — people’s weird reactions, the way those reactions chain together to create a continuing meltdown of behavior — it’s how humans react to ongoing, relentless stress.
The human body isn’t meant to sustain high levels of stress hormones for long periods of time. Stress hormones are intended to help us manage in-the-moment, fight-or-flight situations: high intensity, short time period.
Although it’s easy right now to blow off things like healthy eating and good exercise habits, this is of course the worst possible time to do so. Comfort food, alcohol, and no exercise only increase your discomfort and decrease your ability to manage it all.
Listen to your body — really listen. We all tend to live life from the neck up, but your body has a lot of wisdom, if you’ll just listen.
Find sneaky, creative ways to get some physical movement into your day. Instead of punching your co-worker (or the wall), take a brisk walk around the building. Run up and down the stairs. Park your car in the furthest corner of the lot. Try out some yoga DVDs from your favorite rental source, and make the commitment to buying and using the one that you like the most.
Not only will your body — and your health — thank you for it, but so will your co-workers. Burning off the adrenaline will make you feel calmer, less likely to take someone’s behavior personally, and much more able to drop the chain and stop perpetuating the madness.
“If you can keep your wits about you while all others are losing theirs, and blaming you. . . The world will be yours and everything in it.” Rudyard Kipling, 1865-1936, English author and poet
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