Svaha: the time between seeing lightning and hearing the thunder
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It’s tough to be in a festive spirit this year. If you haven’t been directly affected by the economic uproar (and if so, you may be the only person on the planet who hasn’t), you certainly know people who have been. And it’s hard to get into the mood, whatever aspects of the season you celebrate, when things seem so uncertain and discouraging.
It’s especially difficult at work. Most of us know at least one person who’s been laid off. Even if you’re secure in your job, you still probably feel some anxiety. And if there have been layoffs at your company, you may feel a little guilty and a little lonely when you walk past your erstwhile co-workers’ empty parking spaces and cleared-out desks.
Anxiety and nervousness can become a downward spiral just as destructive to you personally as the financial industry’s downward spiral has been to the economy. When people are fearful, they act in strange ways — ways that often push them directly into an experience of what they were worrying about. (Funny how that happens, isn’t it?) Of course, suggesting that you not feel anxious or worried is pretty useless — and you’ll be glad to know I’m not making that suggestion.
Instead, here are a few things to consider as you face whatever is happening in your life in these trying times.
As I said, it’s pretty useless to try to feel cheerful and optimistic when in fact you feel anything but cheerful and optimistic. So don’t deny it if you feel worried, fearful, or sad — but don’t become your feelings, either.
I spoke to a Human Resources manager the other day who had been trying to put a good face on things for the sake of the people in her office. Needless to say, it was increasingly stressful for her, especially since she was aware of as-yet-unannounced layoff plans.
While she obviously couldn’t say anything about the impending layoffs, I suggested that she allow herself to be more up front with people about her own feelings. The honesty and vulnerability of simply saying, “Yes, I’m scared about what’s happening too!” is actually more supportive of others’ feelings than trying to pretend to be cheerful.
So be honest but not dramatic about how you feel. There’s enough drama going on in the press and the general marketplace.
Speaking of drama, turn off the news! Don’t read the headlines, don’t listen to the reports. There is nothing you can do about what the auto executives are up to, what’s happening on Wall Street, or, when it comes down to it, what your 401K balance is. Stop looking at it all.
Put on your favorite music, get some books on tape from the library, and slide a funny movie into the DVD player. If you’ve always wanted to learn a language, now’s your chance; get a set of teaching CDs and practice on your way to and from work. Delete the link to your 401K account from your browser.
I generally don’t advise practicing denial, but a little bit of focused inattention could do wonders for your state of mind right now. Especially since there’s absolutely nothing you can do to affect what you hear about.
To your career, that is. As I mentioned, fear and anxiety cause people to do strange things — and now is not when you want to be doing anything strange at work. Keep a careful eye on the details, and do whatever you can to be visibly indispensible. Excellence is your best defense right now.
Whether you’re secure in your job or already laid off, consider your network. It’s no joke that most jobs are found through networking, not through want ads or executive recruiters. The holidays make a great excuse for getting back in touch with people, and holiday networking events are a good way to get yourself into better networking habits.
It’s corny, perhaps, but true: gratitude leaves very little room for anxiety and fear. So even if it’s hard to think of anything, stop right now (yes, now) and make a list of things you’re grateful for. It could be as simple as being grateful for the beauty of the scene outside your window — whether that’s snow, rain, or sunshine, city streets or natural landscape.
Perhaps there’s someone in your life who makes you smile no matter what else is happening. If so, let them know. Right now. Walk over to where they are, pick up the phone and call, or write them an email. You’ll both feel better. And the rest of this article can wait till you’re back.
During these difficult times, make it a habit to pause every so often in your day and think about something you’re grateful for. As I said, I know it’s kinda corny, but trust me on this: you’ll feel better for it.
The Law of Impermanence says that all experience has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Although it may be difficult to believe when you’re in the middle — especially when the middle seems to be dragging on forever — there will be an end to this as well. (And if you’re having the time of your life right now, yep, sorry, there will be an end to that too!)
Take a few moments, then, to allow yourself to accept how you feel, and to make some conscious choices about what you’ll let into your life and what you’ll keep out. Keep out the bad news you can’t affect, and bring in gratitude and care for yourself, your job, and the people in your life. And remind yourself that this too shall pass.
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William Arthur Ward, 1921-1994, American author and poet
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