Svaha: the time between seeing lightning and hearing the thunder
I will be eternally grateful for your great gift of taking in to the fullest extent what it is that I have to offer, living it, and then reflecting it back in terms of the potential experience of others. You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer, which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, The Remembering Room, Richmond, Illinois
What you’ve sent me is so darn perfect it hurts! It’s a sheer pleasure to work with someone who writes as beautifully as you do — and in “my” voice. — Ariane Goodwin, Ed.D, smARTist® Telesummit, Millers Falls, Massachusetts
You have a real gift for words. You’re really, really good at it. — Sherry Essig, Priority Ventures Group, Raleigh, North Carolina
You’ve built such integrity of message in your company. I know that’s because it springs forth intrinsically, but you stay so focused at your core! I can’t think of a better way to phrase that laser-beam focus you have. It’s funny, because in someone else, laser-beam focus would be intense, but somehow you manage to make it much more kind and easy. — Jessica Albon, Thrive Your Tribe, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
I’ve never worked with anybody in the way that I’ve worked with you in terms of trusting in your abilities to the level that I have. — Catherine Hajnal PhD, Eight Branches Consulting, Vancouver, Canada ... facilitating and nurturing joyful living
You have an uncanny ability to see through what is being said and surface all the “unsaid” issues. Then you quickly give candid feedback and have a tremendous toolbox to help me move forward through your expert guidance of the right tool.
I have worked with many facilitators/coaches/counselors relating to work and personal situations. Your skills are exemplary and moved me faster than I ever expected. — Jennifer Baker, Fishers, Indiana
You bring both a spiritual perspective and some real-world hard-headedness. — Janet Bailey, Mindful Time Management, San Francisco, California
Brava! I wish I could draw a picture of me — you’d see me in a deep bow to you!
I read your newsletter as soon as it hits my in-box and you’re always right on with your advice. I had to let you know that this issue is particularly brilliant.
I will definitely keep this info — and your contact info — in a secure place.
Thanks so much for sharing your insight and wisdom. — Debbie Rodgers, CGA
In business, surprise is frowned upon. Managers tell their employees, “I don’t want any surprises!” (Of course, that really means, “I don’t want any bad news,” not the more useful, “Tell me about trouble before there’s a disaster.”)
In fact, many people — in business or in personal life — claim they don’t like surprises, even the fun sort. (This is a tell-tale sign of a control freak, by the way. You know who you are!)
But there’s real power in surprise. I advocate not just staying open to surprise, but consciously expecting it and actively seeking it out. When you expect to be surprised, you remain open to possibilities that otherwise would go unnoticed. Your ability to take advantage of whatever happens is significantly improved. Flexibility and adaptiveness — buzzwords used to describe successful companies and successful people — become a way of life.
It takes some practice to let yourself be open to whatever comes your way, rather than trying to squash random circumstance into your plans. And it takes a willingness to surrender your attempts to maintain control (which, of course, you never had to begin with). Here are a few tips on how to cultivate surprises.
Yes, I know — this isn’t quite the reputation you want to have at work. But most people go into situations (meetings, conference calls, projects, and even their workday) with a pretty exhaustive list of expectations. Those expectations include details of exactly what you want to happen, what you believe will happen, and whether there will be difficulties.
There’s nothing wrong with plans and preferences. However, expectations tend to be self-fulfilling prophecies. If you expect Joe to be difficult and argumentative, you’ll start out being defensive and aggressive — which will, of course, put Joe’s back up and lead him to be difficult and argumentative. If you expect budget cuts to impact your favorite project, you’ll muster up all the reasons why they shouldn’t — creating a tendency on everyone’s part to argue with those reasons instead of seeking creative compromise.
Be clueless — have no expectations. You’ll have better results and more fun.
In every situation, there’s something that doesn’t quite fit. The normal reaction is to ignore it — maybe it will go away. Instead, when you notice that something isn’t fitting into the schedule, plan, or expectation, take a good hard look at it. It could be that adapting to allow it to fit will bring significant improvements to whatever you’re doing. It could be that it’s just fine to ignore it. Or it might turn out to be a monster in disguise: an unexpected risk factor that’s trying to sneak up on you.
Looking for what doesn’t fit means you’ll find problems earlier, when they’re cheaper and easier to fix. It also means you can take advantage of the unexpected and unusual to make your end result that much better — whether it’s an email you’re writing or a long-term project you’re managing.
So play the “Which of these things is not like the other?” game. It was fun back when you were a kid, and it’s fun and productive today.
When something catches your attention, check it out instead of brushing it aside. It’s easy to think that you’re too busy, don’t have time, it’s not pertinent. In fact, most of the time you probably go through that mental loop without even realizing it. Instead, take a minute or two — just 120 brief seconds — and see what’s up with whatever it is. If it’s intriguing, pursue it further.
Your mind is wired to notice things that apply in some way to what’s important to you at any given time. Perhaps you’ve noticed that there weren’t any blue Hondas on the road — until you test-drove one and loved it. Now you see them everywhere you go.
That’s an obvious example, but the tendency is there in much more subtle ways as well. So when something “pings” your attention for no apparent reason, follow your curiosity and see where it leads.
Pick a meeting, a phone call, a day, and put one or two — or all three — of these suggestions to work for you. Write the headlines on an PostIt note and stick it to your desk. Put a reminder in your calendar. You never know what might happen!
“A line is a dot that went for a walk.” Paul Klee, Swiss painter of German nationality, 1879 - 1940
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